How the Heart Races
by Paper.Bullets
Summary: For the most part, Aya Makino has lived her life at Cross Academy normally. If you call no friends, terrible grades, and an uncanny ability to always get in trouble 'normal'. But when enemies come after her, she's forced to confront a past that she never saw coming. The last thing she wants on her mind is an infuriating silver-haired boy, but her heart seems to disagree. Zero x OC
1. Anniversary :ichi:

_Vampire Knight (ヴァンパイア騎士)_ © Matsuri Hino &amp; Hakusensha  
_How the Heart Races_ Plot and Original Characters Belong to Me.

**How the Heart Races  
**(Formerly 'Blood Lust')

**_. . . A Vampire Knight Fan Fiction . . .  
_**Prologue and Chapter One

**|| -X- || Prologue || -X- ||**

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Ayame! Happy birthday to you!"

I emitted a high-pitched giggle, clapping like a happy seal. Mom chuckled, and took my head for a kiss on the head.

"Happy ninth birthday, Ayame," she cooed, caressing my scalp. I wrapped my short arms around her, and tried to reach around to clap behind her back, too. She laughed. I loved it when Mom laughed. "Oh no, did my little girl turn into a happy little seal?"

"I'm not little anymore, I'm NINE!" I held up two proud hands, and Mom humorously put a finger down to correct the number. My big brother, Daisuke, rolled his eyes from beside me and groaned loudly. I tried to emulate him, only to roll my entire head. I slapped my palms down on the table and let out a big 'Uggggh!'

"Daisuke, don't give that attitude on your sister's birthday!" Mom scolded gently, "Come on now, sit close to your sister for the picture."

My brother slid his chair over, scowling and I made a face at him. Daisuke was born four years before me. However, he was born in December and I was born February, making it closer to three years, but he always tried to act older than he was. Looking back, I can hardly blame him. Ever since we were little, he had always tried his best to be the 'man of the household', since we didn't have Dad around.

"With Daddy, too!" Mom froze, and Daisuke's face lit up as he hopped out of his chair, his bare feet pattered against our hardwood floors as he went to retrieve Dad's portrait. I twisted my gaze to look at Mom, her traditional black hair framing her delicate, controlled expression. Although both mine and my brother's hair were also dark, there were obvious dark auburn tones, and the older we got, the more prominent the colour was seeping through. Our father's hair was the same auburn color, but it even looked purple in some of the pictures that Mom had. I had thought it was really funny that Dad had such weird colour hair. I hadn't asked why, since I didn't care about those kinds of things when I was that age. Daisuke did once, because he came home from school and said his friend had asked him about it.

_"You're your father's son, alright." _Mom had squatted down to pat his head and give him a kiss on the scalp. _"You look exactly like him when he was young, Daisuke, and I can tell that you'll grow up just as handsome."_

_"And you, my dear, dear, Ayame!" _I had waddled over from the couch, getting jealous of my brother's attention, curious as to what they were talking about. _"You'll grow up into a beautiful woman with suitors lining up at your door! You'll have to protect your sister then, Daisuke."_

_"Yeah right! Who would want to marry this red monkey?" _Daisuke stuck out his tongue and ran, and I copied him, chasing him obliviously as he went to put his backpack away in his room.

"Got him!" He runs back with the portrait in his hands, taken from the fireplace mantle. I kept looking at Mom, watching just in case tears came. Occasions were the hardest. Christmas, New Years, Birthdays, Father's Day…. It wouldn't be the first time we both saw our mom cry. She kissed Daisuke once on the forehead as he stopped by to hoist the picture up to her face, and he scurried back to his seat, happy with his reward.

"Alright, I'm going to press the button, and then we have 10 seconds, okay? It's going to take three pictures, so be ready!" She readied us, and pressed the button before hurriedly sitting down on my right. I waited expectantly, smile at ready.

Until a fly flitted past my vision and landed on my Daisuke's lap.

_Slap!_

"Hey!"

_Flash!_

"Mom, she hit me!

"He had a bug on him!

_Flash!_

"I did not, you totally just wanted to hit-"

"Aya! Daisuke! Smile!"

"Oh, right!"

_Flash!_

We continued with our halted bickering as she rose to check if the pictures were good were good. Daisuke got up, so I tottered out of my seat to check, too. Daisuke was just tall enough to see the picture, but I had to crane my neck and stand on my tippy toes.

The first two pictures were wastefully taken with neither me or my brother look at the camera, too busy arguing.

In the last picture, we were all smiling. Even Daisuke looked genuinely happy, which was rare because he always looked exceedingly annoyed in all pictures with me. Mom always smiled with her eyes, which were curved into half moons, opposite of her upward turning lips. Dad was smiling serenely in all of them, placed on the table right next to Daisuke's face so that we were sandwiched between our two parents.

Mom looked pretty pleased with the last one, and we put the camera away to begin cake-cutting. I bounced up and down, giddy and began to clap again. Mom retrieved the big knives from the holder. Daisuke eyes went wide and he began circling mom, like an energetic puppy trailing his owner for a treat.

"Daisuke, don't jump around me! That's dangerous!" The word only seemed to encourage him, his eyes sparking with fervour and determination, as if getting a hold on that knife would prove just how capable and manly he was. "Daisuke!"

I giggled again, and kept teasing him because it was so funny. "Hahahaha! Yeah, Dai-soo-kay!"

"I can do it, though, I'm a teenager!"

"Dai-soo-kay, Dai-soo-kay! Hahahah!"

"Shut up, Aya!"

"Daisuke! Don't speak to your sister like that!" retaliated our Mom. I stuck out my tongue victoriously and he stuck his back.

"Let me do it! Let me!" He was basically pouncing at Mom, hopping up and down, and he grabbed the knife out of her hands, eliciting a gasp from her.

"Wait, stop! Daisuke, I did _not _raise you to grab things out of people's hands!" Daisuke ignored her and was just about to stab into the cake with the point.

I huffed my chubby cheeks out and leapt forward over the table. "Mommy said stop!"

Mom cried out, hands flying up to her mouth, and I think she might've said a curse word, but I didn't hear because I was too busy crying and drowning my mouth in tears. Daisuke let go of the handle, his jaw dropped and his eyes the size of saucers.

I had grabbed the blade with my hands, hard, never having come in contact with any knives before to have known better.

"I-I'm sorry, Aya! I-…" Daisuke stammered, but Mom was already coming beside me and looking at the damage. The knife was cut into my finger and hands, the palms of my hands slit straight under the blade. I let go and bawled and yelled and cried and watched as Mom shrieked at Daisuke to get the bandages from the other room, but everything was blurry. My hands stung and throbbed. My head stung and throbbed. Mom had grabbed my hands and applied pressure.

"_Shh,_ baby, it's going to be okay. Aya, I need you to calm down, I…" Mom went quiet, and I opened my eyes just enough to see an alarmed expression on her face I'd never seen before.

"Aya, quiet." She brought me closer into her chest, but I was still crying because it hurt so much.

"Aya, _please, be quiet for just a moment. Shh…" _The urgency in her voice confused me, and my moans of pain turned into pathetic little whimpers. She picked me up, and stealthily moved away from the kitchen windows.

Mom was listening for something. Daisuke was back with the bandages, his face twisted into concern.

"Mom?" he whispered.

I held my breath. Everything went quiet.

_….Creeak…_

_"Run!" _she cried.

The windows behind us shattered, masking the sound of our screams.

"Daisuke, take your sister and run!" I was transferred to Daisuke's arms, who's face was contorted into horror as a dark figure appeared from the other side of our window. Except our window was shattered into pieces on the ground, so it wasn't on the otherwise of anything.

Daisuke's eyes darted from me, to Mom, to the _monster _outside. It was just standing there, eyes red. My voice was caught in my throat, I couldn't say it.

_Mom._

_"I SAID, RUN!"_

Everything happened too fast for my newly turned nine year old mind to register. The monster leapt forward at our mother, who suddenly had a gun in her hand and several gunshots go off, but I was already closing my eyes. Its blood splattered everywhere, including all over us. Screams erupted in the neighbourhood.

By the time Daisuke finally reacted and got us out of the house, white fangs had stabbed into our mother's neck and stained them crimson.

When we made it outside, the entire neighbourhood was in a frenzy. The houses had evacuated at an alarming rate, everyone getting into their cars and driving away, people hopping not bikes and running down frantic pedestrians.

Daisuke knocked on multiple cars doors, pleading families and couples to help us, begging to let us use their phone, seeing if they had extra room. They called for the cops and ambulance, but they didn't let us in. Many didn't have room, already crammed 10 people in a tiny sedan, filled to the trunk. We offered to sit on the roof, we offered to sit in the trunk, but no. We were covered in blood. They didn't want whatever was after us to go after them. They knew it was our house that was attacked. They apologized and shut the door on us.

We were about ten blocks away, at the park closest to our house. He pulled a watch from his pocket. It was the analog pokéball watch from his favourite cartoon _Pokémon_. Mom had gotten it for him for Christmas several years ago, and he hadn't worn it for a long time, because he didn't want to be made fun of. He always kept it in his pocket, and now that I think of it, I doubt he ever took it off him.

I glanced at the surface. It was 1 o'clock. We had celebrated my birthday at midnight because I had complained about it for months and months, because Daisuke got to stay up on his birthday, so I wanted to, too. If I hadn't been so stubborn about it… It was just a birthday. Why hadn't I just waited until…?

"Why aren't the police here yet…?" Daisuke muttered quietly to himself. He turned back suddenly, eyes looking in the direction of where we had come from, and I felt panic settle in as the words tumbled from his mouth. Words of absolute stupidity. "I'll be right back. You stay here."

"B-Buh… w-we sh…. t-t-ogevver…" I was fresh out of tears, and my voice and lips weren't listening to me. _But we should stay together, _I was trying to say. _We shouldn't split up!_

"I need to go back, What if… Mom is …" He swallowed. I reached out my small hands to hold his hand, and he flinched away. "You stay here. If that thing is still there, you'll only slow me down."

Daisuke was the fastest runner in his grade at school, and he had the best long-distance, too. Running without shoes was painful enough, but he had carried me on his back, too. I knew that having him carry me would only slow him down, but I couldn't run nearly as fast by myself, and in hindsight, I was probably weak from blood loss.

"W- wah... if... you don't co' back?"

"I'll come back. I'm the fastest runner in school remember? It'll never catch me." We both knew that those words were empty comfort, but I didn't argue.

"But," he breathed, looking down at his bloody feet. I would've cried right then and there if I wasn't so tired and out of my mind. "If I don't… No, I will. I _promise_ I'll come back, Aya, so just be a good girl and hide while you wait for me. The police will be here soon, and then … we'll be okay."

He swallowed, and squeezed my small hands. "We'll be okay. We have to be strong, Aya. For Mom."

"And Daddy," I added, controlling my words. Daisuke gave a pained turn of his lips, and I sniffled.

"Yeah. For Mom and Dad. I'll be back for you. It's not far."

"Pinky promise?" I stuck out my smallest end finger, the simple gesture somehow still proving the most powerful guarantee in the world for me at the time. Daisuke hooked his pinky with mine, and we sealed the deal.

"Promise," he assured. I reached up and kissed him on the cheek, but he turned away so that I couldn't see his expression, and left without another word. I wait until he was out of sight to lodge myself in the small tube of the playground, and held myself tight.

If I had known, I never would have asked my mom if I could celebrate my birthday at midnight. I never would've grabbed the knife, or screamed or cried. As if a playground tube would've protected me if anything had_ actually _come after me. As if Daisuke going back to the house would've solved anything. When bad things happen, all you can ever think about is what you did to make it happen, and what you could've done to have avoided it. There were so many factors, so many reasons why, and for years, all I could think about, during each painful memory, was what I could've done differently. How close we were to a different life. I was young. I was so, so stupid.

If I had known, I never would've let my brother leave, because he didn't keep his promise.

Daisuke never came back.

**|| -X- || CHAPTER ONE || -X- ||  
**"Anniversary"

My shoulders and spine crackle as I arch my back and emit the loudest yawn known to man. I mow down the crust in my eyes with the curve of my back wrist and shake the sleep out from my body. I'm surprisingly well-rested despite the rough night before, I think to myself, as I moan groggily and scratch an itch on my arm. I even woke up before my alarm clock—

_'Ugh, five more minutes.'_

I pause mid scratch, memories from only moments ago creeping into my head like movie credits. Red digital numbers blur into my vision. Had I…? _How many times?_

_6:30 — SLAM!_

_6:50 — SLAM!_

_7:10 — SLAM SLAM SLAM! _

My jaw unhinges, and my eyes burn from how wide they are. First period starts at exactly 7:35, and I have a Chemistry test.

I whip my head to stare at my clock in disbelief. It daintily greets me with 7:22.

Which, when decoded from numbers to letters through my many years of experience, translates perfectly into: _"Detention, Dumbass."_

I throw off my covers and make a mad dash for the washroom, splashing water on my face to wash over the overnight oil as I try to focus on what I need. _Okay, uh… must… uh…clothes! On… put! MUST FAST! FAST!_

As if demoting myself back to caveman talk isn't humiliating enough, I'm scrambling, trying to throw on my uniform with only one arm as I pack my binders for the day into my bag, mind choosing now of all times to short-circuit and forget _everything about organic chemistry I had ever learned. _What was all that studying for last night even _for? _

My Chemistry teacher, Ms. Chan, is the one of the most unforgiving teachers in the entirety of the Academy, second to only several sadistic individuals. Usually, you'd only get a detention if you're frequently late, or late by a significant period, but not with Ms. Chan. She is harsh as it was when you're late to her class, and she had made it clear at the beginning of the term that being late on a test meant _automatic detention and 10% off your test mark._

And when you're like me, and you're already barely passing with 55%, that's not something you can afford!

" 'Shcuse me! _Shorry_!" I try my best to apologize to the other students bolting it, also on the border of being late as we all ran from the dorms to the Academy. There weren't a lot of us, maybe 20 out of the entire academy, and it was rarely the same people, with the exception of me… And it's not like I'm always late, either, but there's something about _Mondays, _ja feel me? But still, you'd think that during this late morning dash, blending in shouldn't be so hard.

And I probably would, except I've got a pink toothbrush handle dangling awkwardly from my lips, which are framed with toothpaste foam.

It was the run that always took the longest. Thank gosh I was one of the fastest runners in the school. Sometimes I swear the only reason they keep me here is the fact that I bring home gold medals in Track like a cat brings home dead birds.

…Okay, not my best analogy, but you can probably guess why I'm _not _getting an A in Literature. Granted, Shakespeare would probably roll in his grave if he knew how Ms. Coriander taught our class! That, and her name is freakin' Ms._ Coriander. SHE'S A FREAKIN' CULINARY HERB!_

I'm almost at the gate when I hear the warning bell sound, meaning I have 5 minutes, and my chem classroom is all the way on the third floor West Wing. _Stupid alarm clock! Stupid half-asleep reflexes!_

"Miss Makino, have some decency!" I grin with my mouthful of minty foam at the French teacher at the gate. Planting my lips around my water bottle, I gurgle and spit into the trashcan by the gate just as I run past, and catch him rolling his eyes. I wipe the remnants from my mouth into a napkin and shoot him a quick salute.

"Looking handsome, Antoine!"

_"Je suis professeur Desrosier à vous, Mademoiselle Makino!"_ I chuckle, inserting my toothbrush into my zip-lock. "Please do not run in the halls!"

"Not in the halls yet!" I holler back, laughing as he waves his fist. I take another gurgle of water to clear the taste from my mouth and spit out into the trash-can at the door, just as I enter the Academy, my legs never stopping to rest.

The last bell blares when I'm only on the second floor. When I finally get to class, I control my heavy breathing, and attempt to slip through the door frame with as little noise as possible. Ms. Chan is in the middle of handing out the test to students in the back row. I tiptoe to my desk in the second row, thinking maybe, just maybe…

"A greeting would be polite, Makino-san." I freeze, flinching, and then smile sheepishly at her backside. How did she see me coming in?

"Morning, Ms. Chan. Your curls look absolutely buoyant today on this merry monday morning," I attempt wistfully.

"Spontaneous uses of alliteration will do you no good in organic chemistry, Makino-san." She turns around, expression unforgiving, and I swear an evil glint passes her glasses lenses as she stares me down. "Tardy. That will be detention today, and ten percent off your test mark."

The class chuckles, and I'm forced to admit that my compliment sounded much better in my head. I seat myself down, and if I had a hood to pull over my head in humiliation, I would, because the entire class knows I am near failing this class. My classmates are looking at me either condescendingly, or sympathetically at Chan's harsh punishment. They must've seen it coming: heck, they probably placed bets. _Every. Single. Monday._

Heavy breathing at the door distracts my shame just long enough to glance up to see who it is. I smirk in spite of myself.

"Kiryuu-san, tardy as well this morning. That will be detention for you and ten percent off as well." Zero Kiryuu's silver hair is damp and sticking to his forehead of sweat, obviously from running. His handsome features are twisted into frustration upon Ms. Chan's news. I dare to crack a smirk, because he just looks too pitiful. His tall, lean frame makes his way to the desk beside me, and he drops his belongings down with a thud, running a hand across his sweaty forehead. I hadn't seen him in my swarm of late people, so he must have woken up even later.

I don't say anything to him as he sits down in his seat, on my right. He sends me an unappreciative glower as he catches me staring, lavender eyes holding mine in a deadlock before I anxiously break my gaze. Chan has made her way to the front, anyway, and I try to look at the facedown booklet without puking last night's dinner out. Tuna and bread on my test would probably earn me a lot more than a Tardy and 10% off.

I'm twenty seconds into the first question before I ask why I even bothered showing up to class, and from the heavy sigh beside me, I'm guessing that the boy on my right is asking himself the exact same question.

**-X-**

The rest of my classes pass without much trouble, seeing as it's always first period that gets the better of me. Mornings aren't my enemy, oh no — I could wake up in the afternoon and it'd still suck. It's the gruelling act of _waking up_ in its entirety that doesn't bode well for my motivation.

Since it's just a 'late' offence and fairly minor, my detention is for 15 minutes during lunch period. I flip a quarter up into the air and catch it, just playing with my spare change from the vending machine from the chocolate milk I had bought earlier.

_Honestly, Ms. Chan is such a bitch. 10% off my test mark because I'm 30 seconds late for a class test. I shouldn't have brushed my teeth… gah, who am I kidding, brushing my teeth didn't get in the way at all! If only I had started running in my pajamas! Detention for not wearing my uniform is better than failing a class, gosh, Aya, why can't you just—_

"Stop!" I freeze, almost losing my balance before I catch my quarter in the air and steady myself. For a second, I'm trying to comprehend where this exclamation just came from, until I realize that it's right around the corner. Exactly where I would've turned if I had taken two steps forward. I slide my forward foot back into the position of attention and stay there.

"Please just… just listen to me. I only need 10 seconds." It's a girl. I narrow my eyes dangerously, resisting the urge to peak around the corner to see what's going on. I don't know who this girl is talking to, but there's a window open down the corridor. I can faintly make out the scent of perfume, but I don't recognize it. There's another scent there, and although it's oddly familiar, I can't quite put a name to it…

A boy replies to her. "I don't have time for this—"

"I've been waiting for 3 years, Kiryuu-kun, surely you can wait 30 seconds!"

_Unholy hell, did she just— Did she just say Kiryuu?! _I've never heard that guy utter more than a sentence, though this is the first year I've ever had a class with him, despite us both being at Cross Academy for the longest time. Despite the fact that we're both close to Headmaster Kaien in our own way, we'd never spoken a word to each other. He's a prefect of our year, along with another girl, Yuuki Cross, who he always seems to be around. She is Kaien's adopted daughter, and Kaien is the legal Guardian of Zero, but I take it that Zero's more or less Kaien's adopted son. You'd think that if a girl like Yuuki is friendly and lovely, that the guy who grew up with her would be too, but no.

One does not simply mess with Zero Kiryuu, as my friendly neighbourhood Boromir would say.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll bet you think I'm crazy, because we've barely said a word to each other but…" She takes a deep breath to calm herself, and for some reason, I do too. "3 years ago… when I twisted my ankle and you found me in the courtyard… Do you remember? You took me to the Nurse, but she wasn't there and… you bandaged my foot."

I don't need to be a genius to figure out that I've just walked in on a love confession, and as _much _as I'd love to stay (not), I don't want to have anything to do with Zero Kiryuu and his not so shoujo-manga love life (or lack thereof). I stay a moment longer, only to ponder whether I should interrupt them or not. How long would they continue? I can't get to the classroom unless they move, and the guy she's talking to should be in the classroom having detention with me right now!

It's not until her voice picks up again that I realize he didn't say anything, or it was too quiet for me to hear, which is unlikely the case. My senses are too heightened for that.

_Making my way downtown, _I sing to myself internally so I don't eavesdrop, but it's not working, _walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound! DUH NANA DUH NANA DUH NANANA NANANAN DUH NANA DUH NANA DUH NA NA NA NANA NANANANA!_

"I've never been able to forget you. I know that you're a good guy on the inside, Kiryuu-kun. I want you to know that… I've believed that ever since that day. I've always been rooting for you, silently supporting you, hoping… that you'd glance my way, just once."

_Wow. She really likes him… _I look at the quarter laying in my palm, facing tails. I flip it once in the air and catch it quietly, and then again. It's kind of awkward listening to something so heartfelt and personal… Should I go and leave them alone after all? It's not like I'd tell anyone. I know myself well enough that my moral standing is genuinely higher than that.

He still says nothing, and I scowl at him without him knowing. What an asshole. He could at least give her something to work with, the poor girl. If I was pouring my feelings to a guy like this, my heart would probably be instigating a chainsaw massacre to my nerves and tearing out my insides.

"I know that you're probably not looking for a relationship right now, but," I can make out the sound of her nervous swallowing, and she stammers back into her words, her voice trembling, "I want you to know how I feel. I'm leaving next month for America, and if it's not too much to ask…I just want to be beside you for the time I have left here. I c-can't bear this anymore."

She's crying. That's the last straw. I am absolute scum for having stayed so long anyway, and so I begin to make my way down the stairs—

A scoff. "You thought I'd fall for that?"

But apparently, Zero Kiryuu is even lower scum.

My feet aren't listening to me anymore as I halt, and my heartstrings tug. I'm listening again.

"I don't have time to play your games with you," he snaps, voice disinterested and not the least remorseful. I am baffled speechless, and my palms hurt from how tight my fists are clenched. _What a good for nothing piece of shi—_

"No! Please don't—"

_"Get out."_

There are fast-paced footsteps, and my first instinct is that he's trying to run away. I rush out from where I'm hidden, and come face to face with a girl my age, pretty blonde hair cascading over her scalp in waves, and a sea of tears crashing down her face. Her expression stiffens when she sees me, and I think I see anger, but she shoves the observation out of my mind as she _literally _shoves past me.

I fix my eyes to the silver-haired boy in the middle of the hall as he faces the wall, the expression on his face mainly unreadable except for obvious traces of irritation. His eyes slither to acknowledge my presence.

My lips part, but a click of the door beside him interrupts me, and a voice pierces the silence.

"Zero Kiryuu, what are you—" Ms. Chan looks down the hall and finds me, her frown lines deepening, proving something that I thought was impossible. "Aya Makino! You both dare to skip detention and dilly-dally outside my classroom instead? And to think, I was going to exempt you both of the 10% punishment if you showed up to Detention and sat through it like good students…"

I nearly curse. "…Ms. Chan, I'm sorry that I'm late, but something came up. Could we move the detention to after school?"

"Do you think you can sneak behind my back twice in one day, Makino-san?" The evil glint in her glasses is back, and I swear it's not my imagination. "I heard you both muttering outside my classroom for the longest time. I know that you're just wasting time so that the detention will be cut short. If you think 15 minutes is too long, well then, how about half an hour after school?"

_"What?" _I blurt. "Ms. Chan, you know full well that I've been suspended before, and that's because I punched, I mean…. _accidentally _placed my fist near a guy's face. 15 minutes is nothing to me, so I would have no reason to avoid it. Something came up, so if we could just—"

"15 minutes is nothing, is it? I guess a half-hour isn't enough to get a message across to you either, Makino-san. A full hour it is. And the same for you, Kiryuu-san."

I tense my jaw, and I'm prepared to argue, but Zero shoots a look at me so hard, that I'm fully convinced I might turn to stone if I dare move. "Makino-san, I expected a little more effort from you this term, and Kiryuu-san, you are a prefect. Very disappointing."

She slams the door, leaving us alone with each other, but only for a second, because I turn on my heel and bolt the hell out of that prick's presence.

What a cold hearted bastard.

**-X-**

"There is something wrong with your son." Kaien chuckles softly at my outburst. "You need to teach him some manners, or bloody hell, I might _accidentally_ place my fist near his face too."

"This is the first time you've ever brought up Zero in conversation," he answers bemusedly from across the desk. It's true. I rarely talk about Kaien's 'kids' in his presense. Not because I avoid the topic or anything. I just don't have anything to say about that. I've ever talked to either of them before. "What happened?"

I fold my arms firmly over my chest in the seat opposite of him. "I don't want to talk about it."

He raises an eyebrow to show how convinced he is. He's not. "Okay, so I do want to talk about it. We went late to Chan's class for a Chem test—"

"Which means detention."

"Which means detention and _ten percent _off our test mark," I correct swiftly, and he nearly laughs, but stops himself short of being rude. "So I'm on my way to detention, when I… basically, it's thanks to him that I had miss detention and now I have to stay after school for an hour!"

"That wasn't a very good story. It seems like you purposefully left out the entire middle part, which I presume is the part that actually _matters, _Aya."

"I may think he's a cold-hearted prick, but I won't stoop low enough to spread his secrets around when they're not mine to say." Kaien opens his mouth to protest. "Even if you're his Guardian."

He sighs. "Even if I offer to get you out of detention?"

"We both know you won't, and even if you did, my integrity wouldn't let me take it."

"That's my girl." I grin. I don't have a class last block today, which is why I'm spending it in Kaien's office.

Kaien was the one who had helped me when I was a little girl, after I was left by my brother at the park to fend for myself. Thanks to him, I'm alive today and attending his Academy. Due to various reasons, we've bonded over the years and our relationship is casual when it's not necessary for it to be professional.

"Ah, I forgot to notify you." His hands reach under his desk and it worries me for a second until he pulls out a box, just big enough to fit … like a small bird or something.

… It's Ms. Coriander's doing, guys. I swear my descriptive skills weren't this bad before I was in her Lit class.

"Your Aunt called, and I received this in the mail a few days ago." I take the small box from his hands, and survey it from a few angles first, listening for any ticking noise that might be inside. If it's not a bomb, what else can it be?

I stare at it for a little longer. "It's a box."

"…Wrapped in wrapping paper. And a bow. On earth, we call this a _gift_, Aya, which is synonymous for _present_. Maybe you've heard of it."

"You should fire Ms. Coriander."

"What?"

"Nothing. So Aunt Noriko sent this, did she? Well, I only have one aunt, but…" Kaien only grins bashfully. "Can I open it?"

At his nod, I undo the bow and snap off the pieces of tape holding the wrapping paper together, ripping it cautiously. "What if it's a dead rat?"

Kaien can't contain his chuckle, and he seems much too happy and content for his usual self, even if he's eerily cheery most of the time. "Open it, silly girl!"

I oblige, and pull off the lid. There's a small, black velvet box within. I haven't seen many in real life before, but I've seen my fair share of television to know what the expect inside such an article, though I don't understand even as I snap it open.

Two rings.

One is black, and the other is… silver, or maybe white gold, I don't know how to tell. It's obvious that it's a matching set, meant for a couple, most likely. I gingerly pluck them out from the box. They look slightly worn, but I can see that they're strangely polished, as if someone tried to make them look better.

The black one seems to be.. platinum all the way around with single black diamond embedded into it. Its counterpart is the same, except there are two white diamonds sandwiching the main black diamond. The centre stone is a smidgen larger than the others, and I realize, a little late, that the rings are like 'Yin and Yang'. I am dumbstruck by the gift, and I'm sure it's on my face because Kaien is smiling like a kid with candy.

"…I'm not getting married, am I?" The last thing I need is an arranged marriage by Aunt Noriko. She'd probably set me up with someone who has past murder charges and a criminal record extensive enough to impress even her... Thinking about it makes me shudder.

"Not unless you have something you want to tell me," he jests, before leaning forward with a serene look on his face. "Those are wedding bands, Aya. They belonged to your parents."

All humour is gone from my face as I stare. I have so many questions, but only one comes out the way I want it to.

"How?"

Kaien holds my eyes with his, and I can tell right away from his expression that he's choosing his words carefully. "We both know that what was left of your house was knocked down, and even though we managed to get anything of value out for you, we must've missed this. They knocked the house down after you got everything you needed, and a new one has been built. My best guess would be that the rings survived the wreckage and perhaps someone, maybe the new owners, found them in the ground."

I'm blinking back tears, because I didn't expect this. I never expected this.

"Happy 18th Birthday, Aya." I let out something that sounds like a chuckle before my eyes squeeze shut, and that's all it takes for me to tip over the edge. Kaien comes around and places a hand on my shoulder as my breathing shakes and stutters pathetically. I'm crying on the rings. I'm crying. My insides quake, and I can't contain the sobs anymore. I am nine years old, curled in that stupid playground tube like an absolutely idiot waiting for my family. My family, who never came back.

My family, who I miss so, so much.

I am nine years old for what seems like an eternity, but the clock on Kaien's tells me otherwise. After about 15 minutes, I win the struggle of regaining composure and calm my gasping breaths to forcefully controlled ones, gripping my senses to get themselves together. Kaien finally unleashes me from his embrace, and I don't even bother trying to remember how we got there or how long we had stayed like that.

The first words that leave my lips are, "I still have detention."

Kaien sighs. "Times like this, I wish I could be your Guardian before your Headmaster."

"You're not my guardian, Kaien. You're the greatest friend I could ever ask for." I squeeze my arms around him, and his strong, protective arms embrace me back. "Thank you. It feels like the stupidest thing coming out of my mouth, because they feel so empty and mediocre compared to everything I owe you for, but thank you, Kaien Cross. One day, maybe I'll be able to make it up to you."

"Watching you grow has been the most fulfilling thanks I'll ever receive from you. You think too highly of me, my dear. Your gratitude towards me is a thousand times more of a burden then you will ever be."

I rub my eyes and slap my face a couple of times in lame attempts to hide the redness, but who am I kidding? I'm going to sit in detention looking like a steamed pig next to my attractive-ass partner… who, note to self, is still an ass. And all this reference to asses by-no-means has anything to do with the fact that I think he has a an attractive and drool worthy posterior, no, that is _not _true!

"Give Ms. Chan my best," Kaien sends me a wink and I catch it like a dork and pretend to eat it.

"Give my aunt my best. And by aunt, I mean _you, _because I may be borderline failing most of my academic courses, but I'm not stupid enough to fall for such lies. I know that she didn't call you last night, and I know that you arranged for this gift. You know she called me yesterday, right?"

Kaien's face tenses, and I can see the anger threatening to surface on his calm exterior, but he is too controlled of a man for such behaviour. The main reason I'm at Cross Academy is not only because of my past and connection to Kaien, but because upon returning me to my closest living family when I was nine-years-old, it didn't take his Vampire Hunter senses to hear all the crap she screamed at me for. Kaien enrolled me in Cross Academy and put me in the dorms so fast, my aunt never even got to see my luggage open.

"She drunk called me. I don't really blame her, though, I mean, it's only natural to get totally hammered before the anniversary of your sister's death. Oh, and I guess her nephew's death too, but I don't think she gives a damn about the children of that 'wretched bastard who ruined her sister's life' as she likes to put it."

"Aya…" he breathes, but I'm okay. I'm not going to break down a second time, and definitely not because of this woman. For anyone but this woman. Never again.

"It's a shame, because I kind of had hope for that test today, too. I was studying really well up until that phone call. And you know what the worst part is?"

I am a jerk. Kaien doesn't need to hear me blow my steam off like this, but I can't help it. I've kept it in, and the absolute selfish part of me needs to let it out, and Kaien is the only one I trust. I trust him not to look at me with pity in his eyes and stammer out all the wrong words to say. I just need someone to listen. Someone to know.

"She demanded that I apologize, like she does every year. And every year I do, but last night… I didn't. I didn't say 'I'm sorry'. It was a drunk phone call from my aunt that made me realize that that I _am _sorry... but I've had nine years of being _sorry_ to that bitch. It took me nearly ten years to realize that if I'm going to be sorry to _anyone, _it's people like you, and my mom and brother. Maybe I never will stop being sorry, but I'm done being sorry to that god-awful bitch. My family deserves better from me than to waste my time apologizing to someone like her. She curses at my mom, _her own sister,_ for leaving them to be with my Dad, can you believe how utterly fucked up that is?"

Kaien listens, once again proving to me just how much this man means to me. His eyes tell me how much they care, and there is no need for him to say anything. He's learned, through years of dealing with my rants, that I don't need him to say much. I'm just grateful that he cares enough to listen.

"I have one favour to ask of you, Kaien, and it's not to get me out of detention," I paused to chuckle at myself, "which I'll be late to if I don't go in the next 10 minutes."

"And what favour is that?" He plays along with me, and I smirk triumphantly.

"I'm not going to answer her calls anymore. This might cause me a lot of trouble, but I don't care. If she ever calls the school, I'd like for you to pass on just one message from mer…"

I stand up from my seat, faking a few stretching motions. "I'm not a legal adult in Japan until I'm 20, but I have no intention of letting her use any of her legal power as my guardian, and so I hope you'll let her know that firm and clear. I'd sooner run away than call her my family."

"That's not a favour Aya." I lips nearly twitch to a frown, but I should know better from the man in front of me. "The pleasure that carrying out this task for you makes up for everything you think you owe me."

"Kaien, I would marry you if it wasn't so creepy."

"I would say yes if you propose. Get on your knees! …Okay, that did sound a bit creepy."

I am laughing as I leave his room.

**-X-**

Guess where I am.

It's not hard, seeing as it's predictable in terms of how the sequence of today is supposed to play out.

I'm in detention, where I'm supposed to be.

Guess who's not.

So it turns out that not only does Zero Kiryuu have a particular cardiac organ that rivals the Grinch in how _freaking small and non-existent it must be_, but there are more things on the list of things he wholeheartedly lacks_._ I take the liberty of listing these numerous traits and qualities that he _does not have_ on a lined piece of paper in my pocket, and I start scrawling.

'Shame.

Honor.

Dignity.

Honesty.

Guilt.

Intelligence.

Manners.

Responsibility.

A nice butt.

Shame.

WHAT A SHAMELESS LITTLE BITCH.'

I underlined the last line 3 times for dramatic effect in portraying my complete and utter LACK OF RESPECT FOR THIS BITCH.

How can he get dismissed from detention because he's a _prefect?! _Ms. Chan said it wasn't his fault that I back-talked and made excuses? Are you kidding me? There is obviously favouritism going on here! It was his fault that I couldn't make it to detention in the first place, because he was busy breaking someone's heart! Probably out of jealousy, because he sure as hell doesn't have one, and do not get me started on how he just took the free-card instead of sitting in for detention anyways, because that's what I would've done even if the freaking Headmaster chose to let me off, because I know when I've done something wrong (and might I add that he came into class even _later _than I did), and honestly, it's about integrity and moral standing, which he apparently doesn't have, so I have to add that onto my list but _are you kidding me?_

I stopped asking if she was kidding me when she threatened to extend it to two hours.

**-X-**

My mom and brother's body were never found. I never liked to think about why that was the case, but I had never pressed into the issue. Mom's tombstone isn't next to Dad and Daisuke's in the cemetery, for reasons that I try not to dwell on, so I leave flowers and fruit over the stones of Kohaku and Daisuke Makino first. I light their incense sticks and have a long talk with them, before going to speak with Mom.

Misaki Takamura. My mom's maiden name adorns her stone instead of Makino. Both tombs were financed by my Aunt's family, which should tell you enough.

I am proud of myself for making that decision in Kaien's office today. I do not need to be sorry to a woman who lacks in decency to the point of separating a mother from her child and lover, even in death. At the very least, she should have respected my mom's wishes. She said it herself that Misaki chose us. A part of me, the selfish and spiteful part of me, hopes that Noriko phones again so that I'll get to attack her with everything I've got and throw her behind bars. Alas, I refuse to do to her what she did to my mom; separate her from her loved ones. I shake the thought of my Aunt out of my head, not wanting to ruin my mood any further.

The incense burns into grey spirals and fades into the wind. It's early February, so we're still reaching out from Winter, and the air is cold and humid against my cheeks. Luckily, I've dressed warmly, and lay down my mat to kneel down in front of Mom.

"I hope you're doing well, Mom. I'm sorry that it's been a few months since I've come to visit, but I'm sure you'd be proud of me for what I've had to overcome since the last time I came."

I sniffle, my nose wanting to run from the temperatures around me, but I've had worse. "I was late for my chemistry test today. I hope neither you or Dad were chemistry prodigies, because I'd be a true embarrassment. I'm pretty sure that if Ms. Chan had an emergency with corrosive chemicals, she'd rather trust a 13 year old to neutralize it than me. So I got detention because I was late to class, _on top _of ten percent deduction from my test, and so I get stuck with detention, right? But this guy — his name is Zero Kiryuu, and trust me, Mom, he has _zero _shame, honor, dignity and— well basically, when I show up after school for our extended punishment, Ms. Chan lets him go because he's a _prefect _and he has _duties! _I have duties too, right, Mom? Like coming to see you, Dad and Daisuke. Those are my duties. I had to stay the hour anyway, so I'm sorry I was late coming here."

The stars have already come out from overhead, as winter nights usually come faster and colder. I don't have much time before I need to get back to the dorms, or else Kaien will get worried. I insisted on making this trip alone two years ago when I turned 16, and he respected my wishes with the condition that I keep my cell phone on me at all times should he need to contact me, and come back before nine. I glance at my phone, and see that it's just past seven, and it takes a little less than an hour to commute back to the Academy, due to its obscure area. I set a timer on for thirty minutes, and I begin to talk to Mom.

When the timer finally goes off, I swipe it off and sigh, taking a few moments to collect my thoughts and see if I missed anything important I wanted to speak with her about.

I touch the chain dangling around my neck. Kaien's (second) gift to me was a chain for the rings, so that I could keep them with me at all times. I could tell right away that it was obnoxiously expensive. He assured me that it would'nt break unless I used it for target practice with a gun. The rings dangle as a pair over my heart, where I keep them warm and safe under my clothes where people can't see. "I hope you and Dad don't mind that I keep these for you, Mom. I promise to take good care of them. I'm a bit scared that I'll lose them. You know that I don't really wear jewelry, and I'm awfully bad at remember things... Help me out when you guys can, okay?"

It's time to say goodbye to my mom for now, so I end it off like how I always have. I bow my head down sincerely, keeping the tears hidden. "Thank you for giving birth to me, Mom. Thank you for being my mother."

The lights guide me home to the Academy. Kaien phones me as I am walking from the bus stop, feet scraping rhythmically against the gravel. I pick up right away.

"Home?" he inquires softly. I can already see him standing alone at the gate, waiting for me. His concern is heartwarming, and I crack a smile against the night.

"Home," I say.

**End of Chapter One.**

-X- Author's End Notes -X-

Holy crap. HOLY CRAP ARE YOU READY FOR THIS.

I am probably crazy. I am. Starting a new story for a story that has gotten so many reviews and alerts and I am throwing that all away to start this all over again. Blood Lust is the longest running story I've had that I have not discontinued. I've already discontinued 3 stories, I can't do it to this one. That being said, reading the first chapter of _Blood Lust_ makes me vomit my intestinal fluids. I can't live with that. If I try to add sprinkles to a mound of crap, it's just a waste of everyone's time. _**THAT MOUND OF CRAP WAS PUBLISHED BACK IN JUNE 2008, I WAS JUST COMING OUT OF GRADE 5 OKAY** /explodes_

Anyway, this chapter was all over the place. I wrote this in 3 days, so please be forgiving. 9000 words in 3 days. When the muse comes, it's here, but when it's gone, it's taking a billion mile hike. I'm so excited to post this that I'm going to post this, and then read it the next day and think it's absolute crap, but what else is new. **_Please give constructive criticism if you have the time! _**I know I probably have a lot of odd writing quirks that probably annoy people to the ends of the earth. I'd rather know about them than have you dislike me without my knowledge of how to improve!

Please, please let me know what you think! **Old readers,** I love you to bits and pieces if you're coming over from Blood Lust to give this a chance. You'll notice both plot and character similarities and dissimilarities to _Blood Lust._ You'll fine out more next chapter! **New Readers welcome!** And please don't read _Blood Lust_ because it will burn your eyes.

You might feel it's a bit cliche that the only person Aya has conversed with in the entire chapter is Zero, Kaien, and teachers, but you'll get to know her better and why that is, later. It makes me feel a bit guilty that it's a pairing for Zero, and it's rather cheesy that they're interacting so strongly in the first chapter already, but I want to keep some elements light-hearted for you during these dark times. After all, Aya kind of lives two lives. One that people see, and one that people don't. (cough*Much duality, such try.)

It's a pleasure to be back, and hopefully I'll be staying a little longer this time. I never really know, but I'll never stop hoping.

Ladies and Gents, this is _How the Heart Races._  



	2. Speak Up :ni:

100 bonus points if you catch the (really lame) reference to Harry Potter in here, as requested of reader Cassandra-Jayne (: I kinda cheated and it's not really a reference to HP itself though… I promise to do better later on! ^^  
Onward!

-X-

How the Heart Races

**|| -X- || CHAPTER TWO || -X- ||  
"Speak Up"**

Valentine's Day is four days away, and Cross Academy has officially gone crazy.

I'm walking through the halls after-school with a scowl on my lips, because it feels more like I'm walking through a safari full of _animals in heat_. It just goes to show that even strict rules and the prestigious status of an honourable Academy will still have _nothing _on teenage hormones.

"Um… excuse me." The couple in front of my locker is gazing hotly at each other, the boy pinning the girl to the surface with one hand like something out of a cliche romcom poster. They glowered at my interjection. "Sorry to interrupt…" _Not really. _"I thought it'd be better to say something… _before _you guys made out…"

The girl's cheeks turn apple red, and she swoops out from the boy's grasp looking utterly embarrassed. He chases after her, but not before throwing me an irate glare from over his shoulder. Sighing, my fingers twist open my lock. I should carry a shotgun around these hungry animals. It's after school! Go home already!

"Aya Makino?" I blink, and move the door of my locker out of the way.

"Yuuki Cross," I acknowledge, and the corner of my lip twitches into what I hope looks like a friendly smile. "Hi. Do you need me for something?"

"I'm actually here to ask you… a favor. From the Headmaster." Yuuki grins. She's awfully cute, with eyes round and brown like a doe's. Her hair is the same shade, and it falls just a bit past her shoulder, which is significantly longer than I remember it being. Then again, I haven't ever seen her up close before. As much as I love Kaien, I've always opted to stay away from his two children, a preference that he wishes I didn't have, but I have my reasons. "Um, you've probably noticed Valentine's Day coming up…"

I scoff, and Yuuki seems to flinch a bit in surprise. I couldn't forget even if I wanted to, with girls walking through the halls giggling and holding boxes of chocolate and hearts. The day hasn't even come yet. "No, actually, I haven't noticed. When is it again, like December 25th?"

She snickers, and my own lips lift shyly. "So what's Kai— the Headmaster want from me?"

She looks around to see if anyone is listening, and leans in a bit closer. She smells a bit strange. Not like bad body odour or perfume, but just… strange. "Zero and I are prefects, and now that Valentine's coming up… we could kinda use some extra—"

"No."

She looks lost. "B-but I haven't even told you—"

"You want me to help control the girls because they're going boy-crazy over the Night Class," I close my locker with my textbooks and binder in arm. "My answer is no."

"But Ay— I mean, Makino-san, why not?"

"I know why you're asking me, and I'm sorry that I'm being so mean about this," I blow out a sigh as Yuuki follows behind me, and people are starting to look in the halls. I'm beginning to look like the bad guy because it's obvious that Yuuki is desperately trying to convince me of something, and I'm not having any of it. "I just really don't want the extra attention—"

"The teachers are agreeing to giving you extra credit!"

My feet halt, and Yuuki crashes into me from behind. I'm quite a bit taller than her, but only because she's terribly short, standing at five feet tall so I've got about 5 inches of looming height of her when I turn around. Now students are really starting to wonder what's going on, so I take Yuuki's wrist and lead her away to outside. Luckily, it's sunny despite the cold temperature, so it's fine for a short conversation.

"How much extra credit are we talking? And _all _of my teachers?" So much for integrity. But this isn't pity, this is a bargain.

"Kaien said he's made arrangements for an additional ten percent —" My eyebrows shoot up, and Yuuki grins. I don't dwell on the fact that she says Kaien has already made arrangement, because it means the sly bastard is already sure I'll say yes. "I'm sure they'd offer more if you stayed on for longer!"

I'm half tempted to shrug this off as a lie, but something about the way she says it is like… she's excited for me. Plus, I can tell from the way she looks at me that she's not exacty unafraid of me. "Ten percent seems like a lot for just a few days so… how _long _do you think we're talking?"

"Hopefully not for too long! It's just that things have been getting _super _chaotic lately. Zero had detention yesterday, but luckily, the teacher let him off, or I would've…"

So _that's _what his prefect duties were… It really must be difficult right now, since Valentine's Day is coming up_._ A pang of guilt causes me to nibble the inside of my lip. Okay, so I may have misjudged him just a bit_. _But he still broke that girl's heart like an inconsiderate son of a bitch, so the guilt is very minimal.

I sigh. "I see… You just need me for the curfew? So not during breaks or anything, right?"

She makes a guilty face. "We don't need you for breaks, but we're going to need you a little later than even _our _curfew. Girls have been trying to sneak past the gate. We think they're trying to leave notes and presents anonymously, or meet up with the Night Class students secretly, and you know… we _really _can't let that happen. We're going to make an announcement later on about the consequences, but we're taking extra precautions. Better safe than sorry, right?"

I bite my lip. That's pretty serious. No wonder they need more help.

"I'm sorry to do this to you… And um, Kaien hasn't told us anything, but we know that you don't talk to us for a reason…" I blush, embarrassed, even though it would be unrealistic for them to not notice. "But we would really appreciate your help. We don't really have anyone else we can trust. Zero and I are already prefects."

"No, I'm sorry for being so… awkward. I'll do it. The last thing I want is for a stupid first year girl sneaking past the gate and — … yeah, I'm in." I clear my throat awkwardly. "So when do I start?"

Yuuki beams. "Now! We need to go put your stuff away and let's go!"

"…What?" She laughs, and grabs my hand in hers. It's been a long time since I last had my hand held and was lead somewhere by someone, and the gesture makes me blush, only to have heartbeat increases again as I realize that I'm blushing. And then an even more depressing thought crosses my mind.

I can't remember the last time I've made contact with someone besides Kaien.

**-X-**

He clears his throat.

I blow my bangs away from my eyes.

He shifts his stance to the other side.

I cross my arms.

"Is there something I should know?" Yuuki puts her arms on her hips and raises a dark brown eyebrow at us. My eyes dart to look to my right, only to coincidentally meet with lavender and avert my gaze again. "Have you guys met before?"

He says 'no' at the same time that I say 'yes'. We both glare at each other, and Yuuki only looks even more perplexed.

"We're in the same chemistry class," I say.

"We don't talk," he says.

"He sits _right beside me_."

"She's failing."

It takes all of my control to not drop my jaw. I grit my teeth. "What does that have to do with us knowing each other? Do you not associate yourself to people with bad grades or something? So you'd rather _not _know me, is that it?"

"Her question was whether or not we've met." His gaze is cold and unforgiving. How does Yuuki put up with him? "We've never _met _before."

"Meeting doesn't mean I have to tell you my name and shake your hand. Meeting means we've come into contact with each other."

"Unfortunately."

"Zero!" Yuuki reprimands angrily, and he sends her a look, almost as if he expects her to be on his side.

My teeth are starting to seriously hurt from how hard I am clenching them. "Are you always this charming, or did a snake crawl up your ass and lay eggs?"

It's Yuuki's turn to stare at me with her lips parted, and Zero literally scowls.

"Um." She takes a moment. I don't blame her. It's obvious that she's neither the rude type or the cursing type, which Zero and I fall under respectively. "Let's start over? How about we… introduce ourselves?"

"I'm going." Zero shoves his hands into his pockets and stays true to his word as he trudges away. My lips are literally locked in a grimace thanks to him.

"Jerk."

"Hello, 'Going' and 'Jerk'. I'm Yuuki Cross. Nice to meet you guys too." I can't help but smile at her little joke, and she releases an apologetic smile. Yuuki seems to be a much more likeable person than Zero, but from what I've seen, it seems like _everyone _else is too.

"Sorry about that. I didn't know you guys were, um…. acquainted already, or I would've made sure to talk to him—"

"It's not your fault, Cross-san. It's okay, as long as I don't need to interact with him on a personal level, we should be fine."

"Still…" She sighs, and hands me an arm band. "Wear this for now. Thank you for doing this, Makino-san. I hope you're prepared."

"For ovary explosions, and a class full of gorgeous rich kids? My two favourite things." She laughs at my sarcasm, and I withhold the blush. For someone with such a sharp tongue, I'm surprising myself with how soft I feel around this girl. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I really can make friends…

Several hours later, the sky has grown darker, and the wind chill has grown in intensity. We've only been patrolling the grounds, and already we've caught some suspicious behaviour of girls hanging dangerously close to the gate, and peering into the Moon Dorm pathway eagerly. I notice Yuuki wraps her arms around herself.

"Are you cold?" She looks at the jacket I'm holding out to her. "Here, take it."

"No, I couldn't, Makino-san, you'll be cold—"

"No, _seriously,_" I chuckle, and drape the jacket over her shoulders. I'm probably just a size larger than her, so it keeps her decently warm without being tight on her. "Trust me, I'm not cold."

"Thank you." I nod awkwardly to myself. Her eyes are trained on the ground, and I have a prodding feeling.

"If you want to ask me anything," She glances up, and her innocent brown eyes catch me off guard. My voice comes out softly, "I'll try my best to answer."

She nods quietly to herself, and we continue walking around to patrol. Finally, she breaks the silence of our footsteps with an confident tone.

"What are your hobbies?"

I catch her eyes again, not expecting that question. She could've asked me anything, from the way I invited the interrogation. I try not to think about how I let myself become vulnerable to her, and analyze her question. Is she trying to warm up to me, or rather is she trying to warm _me _up to _her? _

"Well, I like to run," I answer truthfully, grinning. "I've been in track and field for the last two years because Mr. Kimura saw me sprinting around the track a few times. He begged me for a month, and even got Kaien on it. I gave in, and ended up bringing home 3 Gold medals. Both years." The pride is hard to hide from my tone, even though I try to play it off casually.

"Wow, that is so cool!" Her voice is genuine, and my heart reacts by doing a funny jig in my heart. What's happening? "You must be really good. I've always been pretty bad at sports… I blame my short legs, but to be honest, I'm just not that co-ordinated. Surprisingly, I'm good at landing from high places, oh, and balancing though!"

I snicker, and she goes on. "Are you going to join the Spring team this year?"

"I don't think so." She asks me why not, which I already expected. I give her the short, evasive answer. "I don't want to get attached."

Yuuki tilts her head cutely. "Attached to running?"

"To the team," I answer softly. I don't meet her eyes, because I don't want to know what my heart will do when I see her brain piece things together and form an opinion of me. I don't know why I answer her truthfully. "Plus, they gave me the ultimatum that if I don't get my grades up, I can't race. So I didn't join, because I don't like how they threatened me with something like that."

"Do you not think grades are important?" She treads carefully, and I shrug.

"I don't think people's opinions of me are important, and I feel like grades are just a teacher's opinion of me. I try really hard, but I forget things really easily. I do all my homework, but I bomb every test. I'm super bad at multiple choice. I'm better at essays and free-response." I'm chatting. I'm having a friendly conversation with her.

What am I doing?

"Wow, that's the opposite of me! I hate essays, and I'm a lot better multiple choice, you know, because there's a one in five chance that I'll get it right! We should help each other out!" From the corner of my eye, I can see her smiling brightly and leaning forward, trying to catch my eyes. I reach up to rub my nose, like it might be runny or something. I hope she doesn't notice the heat seeping into my cheeks.

"Hey, it's Zero!" I look up, and like she said, there he is, just several feet away at the Gate. Zero snaps his gaze over to us, and I half-expect him to frown and walk away, but he just stays there. Yuuki races up to meet him, but I take my time just walking there normally. I can hear him talking to her, probably thinking I can't hear.

"What took you guys so long?"

"We were talking. She's really nice, Zero, not like what we thought. You could at least be civil."

I wish I had a scarf to bury my face into. Obviously, it's not like I expected them to have a great opinion of me, but from her words, I can predict that they didn't have the best opinion of me… and well, Zero still doesn't. On the topic of a scarf, I'm starting to get cold now, so I breath some hot air into my hands.

"Hn."

"Don't be so mean!" She turns around to smile at me, since I'm close now. "I'm going to make a quick trip to the washroom. What about you?"

"I'm good," I say too quickly, and bite my lip. I would rather go to the washroom with Yuuki than stay here with Zero, but she's already dashing off.

I catch Zero looking at me, and he looks away. I don't have a watch, and my cellphone is in my bag. "Um, could you tell me the time?"

He doesn't look at his wrist. "It's eight."

"Oh, okay… Thanks." Great. Now what?

Silence is what, apparently, because that's what follows. I don't mind not talking, but it's a lot worse here, because there's actual tension between the two of us as opposed to if I was just with anyone else.

His silver hair is unique, and I have no idea if it's natural, or if it's because of stress… I doubt he's the type to dye it, but I have to admit, it looks _good. _As if lavender eyes and sharp, handsome features weren't enough to label him attractive, he's gifted with height and large hands, which I find strangely appealing. I've never seen him with his sleeves rolled up, or in any kind of exposing attire, so I don't know if he's toned or not, but I don't doubt it. The more I think about it, the more otherworldly he looks, as if he's not human.

"What?" he barks.

I should look away, but I don't. He seems phased at my lack of embarrassment at being caught staring. He breaks out eye contact first.

"I'm sorry." I don't look at his expression. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the face of guilt on me. "It's kind of my fault that we got extended detention yesterday. But you didn't even sit through it…" I try to hide how bitter I am about that, but I remember again that it kind of sort of wasn't his fault. "And I'm sorry for eavesdropping on you and that girl, but I didn't want to interrupt and… I needed to get to the classroom for detention. I still shouldn't have eavesdropped, though. I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone."

I clear my throat and shift uncomfortably. My apology isn't really sounding sincere, probably because I'm not actually truly sorry. "We don't need to be friends or anything, but we're going to be working together for a little while, and I'd prefer if you didn't, um… hate me."

Zero's arm eventually drops back to his side. My hands are folded over my chest, because I don't have my jacket pockets to shove them in and it's getting really cold, even for me. His eyes slithered to my hands, watching how I hold myself. He says nothing.

"I'm back!" Yuuki joins us, and she hands me my jacket back, and I take it back with a quick thanks.

"Sorry it took me so long, there was a line-up of girls checking their reflection," I let out a not-so-subtle snort, and Yuuki sniggers. "They're getting ready to come out!"

There's a noise in the distance, and Zero's features crinkle. Whatever he's sensing, my senses aren't good enough to catch, and wonder seeps into my curiosity. Just how enhanced are his senses?

"Someone's bleeding," he snarls, and my heart leaps as he bares his teeth. "Beyond the gate. Someone get through."

Yuuki jumps into action, already runnning. "We have to hurry! Come on, Zero!"

"I'll stay here," I offer, and Yuuki nods.

"We'll be back soon. Just make sure no one else gets past!" I wave passively as they expertly pass through the gate, and disappear from my sight.

_I guess it's a good thing I'm here. They can go deal with it together without having to worry about the situation up here. _Just as the thought passes, my attention is whisked away by the sound of girls making their way from the Academy, and appearing from the way of the dorms.

"Makino-san is a prefect now? Since when?" Whispering is only to be expected, but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother me. "Aren't her grades like terribad?"

"Not a prefect." Their eyes grow wide and they look almost guilty. Almost. "Just helping out."

Nothing else leaves their candy apple lips, and girls scurry to the huddle together and show each other their cards and and photos on their camera. Behold, the female fan girl in her natural habitat. Please remember that flash photography is prohibited, and to remain in the vehicle at all times.

Yuuki and Zero haven't come back in half an hour. I'm growing restless, but I'm not the only one because we're about fifteen minutes away from the dorm gates open for the students to make their way to the Academy, which means fifteen minutes until I get absolutely trampled by ravaging fangirls. I need to take a moment to remember exactly who the predators are, whoI'm supposed to be protecting…

"Makino-san!" The Gates open, and the girls begin to scream, only to have their hopes dashed as Yuuki and Zero come racing out. In Zero's arms is a passed out girl, and Yuuki is piggy backing another one, who's eyes are also closed. I rush over to help, but Yuuki shakes her head.

"I'm going to take them to the Nurse, and then I'm going to take them to the Headmaster. You and Zero need to stay here to manage the crowd, okay?"

I nod, and Yuuki looks to Zero. The girl who was in his arms has been passed off to two girls, most likely friends of the injured girl, and they carry her away. Another cluster of girls comes up to Yuuki, cooing at the girl on her back as they also help take her. At least they're decent enough to prioritize their friends over gawking at good-looking boys. Still, Yuuki has to go with them to make sure the memory modifying is done. She throws me a look over her shoulder, and we nod at each other before she goes.

I want to ask Zero what happened, but something stops me. His face is stiff, and his features are tense as if in pain, or disgust. "Are you okay? You look—"

"I'm fine." Boy, is he ever good at killing conversation. "We need to get ready."

His words are perfectly timed as the gates open wider, and sure enough, the Night Class has appeared. The girls are rushing forward. I quickly recall what my instructions were, and why I'm here.

"Back off, h-hey!" The scene from Lion King appears in my vision for a brief second as I relate to how Simba must have felt trapped among those wildebeest things in the gorge. "They need to get to class, you hormonal freaks!" My voice is drowned out by screaming. _Flash, flash, flash! _Cameras snap and signs are being waved as they push past me and crowd the gate. I can't see past their heads as they jump up and down. It's absolute madness. "Hey, are you freaks listening? Get away from there! You need to get out of the way!"

"Shut up!" someone snaps.

_She did not just tell me to shut up, _I try to convince myself, but fingers are already tingling from the need to meet with someone's face. _She did not just tell me to shut up._

_Oh, but she freakin' did._

_TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEEEEET! _Hands fly up to their ears at the distasteful high-pitched noise, and expressions are filled with irritation. "What is that mysterious tweeting noise?"

"Kind of…" _Tweeeeet!_ "Annoying…"

"I found the source of the tweeting. It's her!"

"Now that I have your attention…" My fingers hold the whistle that Coach Kimura gave to me as a present. Something about a whistle just demands attention. "Let's play a game. Which do you think is easier to move away from: the Night Class, or _my fist?"_

Pairs of eyes look to one another, and I can make out whispers of my delinquent past. I scoff. Delinquent past _my ass;_ I punched that guy because he was 'accidentally tripped' and touched a girl's breast a girl in the hallway, so I 'accidentally tripped' and touched his face with my fist. He deserved much worse. Leave it to self-centered gossipers to blow the story out of proportion and claim that I picked a fight…

It doesn't take long for them to scurry to each side, forming a neat path. Zero's face is hard to read from this distant, but I swear he almost looks amused, or as amused as a guy like him can look. The Night Class is waiting patiently at the front of the Gates. Of course, as soon as the path is formed, the screams start again, but at least the Night students can get through and there's a good distance between the two uniformed groups.

This is the first time I've ever seen the Night Class up-close, but I don't stay to admire them for long. I walk in front of them to clear a path, while I can faintly hear snippets of Zero's voice pushing girls away from the rear.

The whistle is at ready between my lips, just in case it gets out of control again, but the girls obediently disperse to each side as soon as I approach. If people didn't stay away from me before, they sure would after today.

We make it to the front of the Academy, and I step to the side of the entrance to let the Night students through. I keep my gaze down, not wanting to make eye contact with them.

"Thank you," the voice sends shivers up my spine, smooth and sultry. My eyes meet with the owner of the voice, and I can't hide the words that come out from my mouth.

"Don't mention it," I mutter. The man at the front of the pack is Kaname Kuran, the only pureblood of the Night Class. His wavy brown hair frames his devastatingly handsome features in a way that I thought could only be achieved artificially. "And I mean that seriously. Don't ever mention it."

"She's a rude one." A blonde male near the leader regards me with disgust. I return the gesture. "You might want to watch your mouth, newbie."

Kaname sighs, "Hanabusa, not now."

"I'm not new," My brow quirks upwards, "and I don't think I'm the one who should be watching my mouth, blondie."

_"Blondie?"_ I can hear the hurt from his words even after he's made his way down the hall. The students are making their way into the Academy, but not before shooting me a glance. I sigh, rubbing my sore temples. Their senses are a hundred times better than mine, of course they heard every word, Stupid.

I slip past them and join Zero outside. The girls are dispersing, checking the photos they snapped and twittering away. "How was that?"

"Not bad for a newbie." He says nothing, and only gives me a glance before turning away to face me with his back. "Duty isn't over. Let's go."

I rake my teeth over the outside of my lips, curing them of the dryness that accompanies the cold weather. "How long do you guys stay out here?"

"Midnight. Sometimes later," he answers coldly. I'm still walking behind him, so I don't see his expression. I don't really know where we're going, but we're heading back the way we came, towards the Dorm Gates. "If you want, you can go."

For some reason, his words offend me. Maybe he thought that I want to leave, or I can't take it anymore, but I wasn't asking with a whiny 'Are we there yet?' kind of attitude. I was only curious.

But I am tired. Tired or arguing with this boy, and tired of pretending.

"I'll stay," I whisper, so inaudibly that I am sure I am the only one who hears, but his head turns just the slightest, as if to look back at me, before he seems to change his mind and keep walking.

Again. What a cold-hearted bastard.

**-X-**

Zero Kiryuu falls asleep in Chemistry the next day. I had slid my foot to nudge him awake, but he scowled in his sleep and re-adjusted his position. I nibble on my bottom lip, thinking. Chan is writing on the board, but we're in the second row. As soon as she turns around, he's screwed.

I freeze. Why do I care? If anything, he deserves another detention after missing the last one. Heck, if our roles were reversed, he probably wouldn't bat half an eyelash for me. I think about the Guardian armband in my pocket and sigh lightly. I can't do that to him.

_Come on, get up already! _I take a pencil and jab him in the side. _Getupgetupgetup!_

He snarls, and I snap back to sitting upright in retreat. Chan has been going on and on about the new chapter on gases, but she's finishing up as she approaches the answer. I scowl, reaching into my school bag and pulling out my waterbottle. I shove my finger into the opening, and tilt until the water comes soaks my finger entirely. I take a deep breath, and lean over. _No pain no gain, broody._

I shove my finger into his ear. He jerks upright in his desk as an instant reaction. _Definitely awake now._

For the first time in my life, I see pure, unadulterated hatred through his eyes.

"… Are there any questions?" By the time Chan has turned around, everyone is sitting eerily upright, eyes blinking innocently. Zero darts his eyes slowly back and forth between me and Ms. Chan, his groggy mind probably trying to piece together what just happened.

"Makino-san," I stiffen. "Why don't you come up here and show what you did for question 5A?"

My notebook is filled with the work and answers for the assigned homework, but my mind is blank. She never calls on people. She is a textbook lecture-type. She doesn't give a crap about our progress, she just talks and talk and talks and tests and that's what our marks are based off of, thus why that 10% meant so much. Homework isn't ever checked or marked. Why is she calling me up?

"I'm waiting," she presses, chalk in hand. I bite my lip to snap out of my confusion. I step out of my seat with my notebook in hand to stand in front of the board.

The questions is: 'A 5L container is filled with N2(g) to a pressure of 3.00 atm at 250 degrees. What is the volume of a container that is used to store the same gas at STP? Solve this problem using each of the following approaches: A) gas-law equation. B) PV/T = constant at different conditions if the number of moles is constant. C) "common sense" and Charles' and Boyle's law'

I start to write. I did the homework, so I remember. _PV = nRT = V = nRT/P._

"And, uh.. then I solve for 'n', so…"

_3.00 x 5L / 0.0821L x 523K = 0.349 moles. _My hand is shaking. My hand is shaking. Everyone can see my hand shaking. _0.349mols x 0.00821L x 27B / 1 = 7.82_

I look at her expression, only to find skepticism. I wonder if I did it right. She frowns.

"Finish the rest of the question," she commands. I swallow hard, but oblige. I finish both the equations for B and C, but she doesn't look pleased. I put the chalk down on the ledge of the board when I have written the answers, double checking to see if it's the same as my work, and turn around. I take one step forward, and then her words stab me.

"Who did you copy from?"

I must have heard wrong. "Excuse me?"

"I've had enough of your attitude, Makino. Just because I do not take homework for marks does not mean you can blatantly copy someone else's work."

"You think I copied from someone… for work that's not even worth marks?" I can't hold the disbelief dripping from my words.

_I must. _"Do not take me for a fool, Makino." _Be hearing._ "I have had enough of you sneaking behind my back. You should be ashamed of yourself."

_Wrong._

Backing down isn't even an option. Indignation has creeped into my core and seized me, but I welcome it with open arms. My fist is tingling. "You said it yourself that homework isn't for marks, so why on earth would I have even wasted my time copying? What… what reason would I have… to even bother?"

"I will not have this conversation now, Makino. Be seated. I will see you after class." My heart burns. It stings, and my throat is tight. This is unjust. This isn't fair.

"I haven't done anything _wrong—"_

"I will _not _repeat myself, Makino!" She barks, and her face is absolutely red. "Sit down!"

In Chan's face, I can see fragments of worry surfacing from behind her glasses. I wonder if she's heard rumors about my so-called delinquency. I wonder if she remembers what I said about being suspended for punching someone in the face. I wonder.

My mind races as I force my heart to calm down my emotions. Anger seeps from my core, but strangely, I'm able to ignore it. I can feel my face relaxing, but my emotions still feel like they're in hysteria.

I walk back to my seat.

With a firm swipe, I snatch my schoolbag from the floor of my desk. It isn't until I walk out from Ms. Chan's hollering attacks that I am finally calm.

**-X-**

When I was younger, I would always run to Kaien's office. He had essentially taken on the role of my Guardian, and I viewed him as my saviour in more ways than one. Finding me on the winter's night, and protecting me from my Aunt's rage. It's not hard to piece together the puzzle and realize that Kaien was trying to make me forgive my aunt, if just for the smallest moment, when he claimed that the gift had been from her. He probably wants me to eventually go back to her and try to work things out, yet he didn't look disappointed when I relayed to him that I no longer wanted anything to do with her. Is it because he knows I won't do it? Does he think I'll give in, like I always do, and end up putting up with her anyway?

Either way, I take time for myself. Ever since I entered teenage years, I no longer seeked out Kaien as my console. Once in a while, like on monday, I go there to catch up with him during my study block. If he wasn't the Headmaster of the school, I wonder if I'd seek him out more. I don't do it because I dont' want to be a burden, not because I don't want to talk about anything with him. He has a lot to worry about, that man. He's running a secret of an Academy filled with two groups: one that could essentially annihilate the other, while the latter has fundamentally no clue.

If Kaien thinks that Vampires and Humans can co-exist with each other, then I'm not going to argue with him. I respect that man enough to take his opinion in stride, whether or not I agree with it, and he also respects my wishes to remain unassociated with them.

Well, I was _pretty _unassociated at least up until yesterday.

I've made my way to the bleachers outside, spread to view the track. The wooden steps creak under my weight, and I station myself the farthest away from the school. I might get caught for skipping class, and I am _not _being dragged back to Chemistry after what just happened.

I grab my phone from my schoolbag. It's barely 8:15, and the period doesn't end until 9. What am I going to do next class? It's way too late to drop out… I guess I'll just have to awkward sit in class and hope the prefect duty really does boost me ten percent because I am totally going to end up with like a 60 percent average —

… _Who is that? _The thought crosses my mind for only a split second, before the morning sunlight catches strands of his silver hair in speckles of blinding white. He's just come out from the doors, and his eyes land on me. I blink, as he just watches me. I'm waiting, expecting, wondering. What is he doing here?

And then I see his expression. He looks absolutely seething, his eyes glaring and jaw clenched hard. He takes his first step forward in my direction, followed by another, then another, and soon enough it's obvious that he's approaching me. He's a prefect. He's going to drag my sorry ass back to class because he needs to enforce school rules and regulations and unholy hell he's going to make me pay for disrespecting a teacher and

The biggest _NO _erupts in my head. I bolt it.

"Hey-" The faint word slips past his composure in his alarm, and I can hear the sound of his footsteps quickening.

"YOU CAN'T TAKE ME ALIVE!"

His speed picks up. _Frick, he is so not joking, this is serious and I'm going to get suspended for walking out of a teachers class after she's already taken 10% off my test and embarrassed me in front of the entire class and I'm gonna get punished for this stupid-ass shit ARE YOU KIDDING ME?_

He's faster than me. I don't even want to think about how my pride hurts at that notion, but he is, and I'll bet he's gonna catch up in about 10 seconds. I'm on a zip line to the Gardens, where it'll be easy to lose him.

_"Stop!" _He calls when he realizes where my running course is headed. My heartbeat is thunder. I would rather trip land flat on my face than return to that class.

"_YOU STOP FIRST!_"

"Because—"

"I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU!"

"I'm not—"

"GET AWAY!"

"You_ idiot!" _My elbow is jerked back, the motion causes my legs to lose balance. My ankle twists weirdly, trying to keep my body from falling, but luckily he yanks me back upright, hard. I wince, pain in my shoulder. "_Why the hell are you running from me?"_

"W-why are you… ch-chasing me?" I tell myself that I'm stammering and huffing because I'm tired, not because I'm intimidated. "You're going… t-to d-drag me… back to c-class… aren't you?"

_"What?" _Zero's not even sweating or out of breath. He looks like he freaking _pranced _over to me while I look more like I ran 2 blocks out in a windstorm. "You thought— god, are you always this stupid?"

"…Ouch." His expression twitches, and he lets go of my arm. It seems that he may feel sorry for what he said, but he's about as close to an apology as I am to being on Principal's List. I don't care. "Seriously, why else… would you be chasing me?"

"I wouldn't have chased you if you hadn't - _forget it."_

I force myself to control my breathing before I went on, every huff in between my phrases ripping my pride in half. "You started coming towards me first! And you looks furious! You'd think I ran over your cat or something from the murder in your eyes."

For a moment, all we both hear is our breathing. He clears his throat, and the words come out awkwardly, and forced, as if it's painful to say. "That's… just how I always look."

_…Oh._

"Oh," I verbalize. Zero rubs his temples like he's having a migraine. He probably is. "So… why _were _you coming towards me?"

He is quiet for a while as he stares blankly at me, unable to answer.

"…What?" I press, cocking my head diagonally to convey my curiosity.

"Nothing."

_"What?" _He turns to walk away, and it's my turn to grab him by his arm to hold him back. He's not used to the contact, and I can feel him tense in answer to my gesture. "What do you mean nothing?"

He yanks away. _"Nothing."_

"If you don't answer me, I'm going to scream at the top of my lungs and rip off my clothes." His expression stiffens, and I can see that he's weighing out the possibility of whether I really will or not. I quirked a brow to make a point, and take a deep breath in…

I get half an 'A' out before he slaps his hands over my mouth and the back of my neck, clamping my head to shut me up. I blink fiendishly innocently to say 'I'm waiting.'.

Zero scoffs, takes his hands away and grumbles, "I was wrong to worry about you."

This catches my attention. "You were worried? About what? About who? Me?"

"No," he denies half-heartedly, already walking away from me. I scamper behind him, eager to keep up despite how tired my legs are. Not to mention that the pursuit was absolutely _pointless._

"But you just said!" I imitate him in a lower 'boy' voice. " 'I was wrong to worry about you.' "

"I don't sound like that."

"Yes you do."

"No I— _stop talking to me."_

"So… you were worried about me."

"I was not—_"_

"You know, you're actually kinda cute when you're embarrassed."

He freezes right where he is, pauses for a moment, and turns around to regard me with an icy glare. "I am not embarrassed."

"So you don't deny being cute, then."

A twitch of his lips. "You. Are. Impossible."

I grin broadly, saying nothing as I notice the tug of his lips into a smirk. So the cold-hearted Grinch _is _capable of positive emotion. As if reading my mind, he catches himself in the act and the upwards tug gets dragged down by an anchor back to his usual frown. Well, at least he wasn't lying earlier when he said he always looked angry or upset. He sure did.

"Thank you for worrying about me," I said gently, and I half expect him to continue denying the accusation, but he just stays quiet, thinking to himself. Had he followed me after I stormed off from class? Was he worried that I'd do something stupid, like punch a few kids in the face to relieve my anger? _… Gosh, that's actually a really good reason to be worried. I just might have, if someone happened to stumble upon me at the wrong timing, _I muse densely.

I wonder if he walked out of class without saying anything, or if… just maybe… could he have stood up for me? Could that be a reason why he left, too?

My eyes flicker to meet his angry gaze. _Nawwwww._

"You're failing Chemistry."

"Wh-" And to think I thought he was a decent guy. "Okay, seriously, Kiryuu, what's your problem?"

"Your assignment marks are higher than mine." My lips part. Zero Kiryuu may look like a complete slacker, but his grades are pretty high, if not at least impressive, I believe — they'd have to be if he was a prefect. High enough for that statement to surprise me. "And you pay attention in class, despite always being late."

"… What are you trying to say?" But I can already hear the question that his words are begging to ask, and I find myself growing a question of my own.

"You freeze up and do terribly on every test."

I purse my lips. _He noticed? _

Just as I predicted, the question falls from his mouth as a single word. "Why?"

This is the longest conversation I have ever held with Zero Kiryuu. My impression of this impenetrable character was that he hated everyone. I didn't need to ask Kaien to guess that his parents weren't around anymore, but weirdly, and probably cynically on my part, I hadn't ever tried to empathize with this kid. I should probably be treating him a lot better, knowing his circumstances, but it's like those emotions have been locked into me for so long that they don't know how to surface. In that past day and a half, I've talked to both of them, and those are big enough steps for me at this point.

I don't need to explain myself to this guy. I barely even know him. In a week, I won't need to interact with him anymore either. Ha, you know, he probably doesn't even care about me. He's probably just saying this out of duty because I'm dragging the grade average down.

"I'm scared."

So why do I tell him the truth?

The words are on the tip of his tongue, I can see, from the way his eyes soften just the slightest bit: he wants to ask 'of what?'. If I wasn't so attracted— I mean, mesmerized— _I mean… _ahem, _aware _of those eyes, I probably wouldn't have caught it.

But he doesn't say anything as the words resonate in his mind and he seems to either come up with an answer himself or just decide to drop the subject.

"I-I'm telling the truth," I say uncertainly, unsure of why I want him to believe me.

"Hn."

"I am!"

"I know," he says this as if he regrets opening his mouth at all. He turns his back on me.

"A-are you going?" Why do I sound so desperate? Clearing my throat, I try again. "Back to class?"

"I can't, thanks to you."

"What do you mean?" I think back to the prediction I had earlier. He couldn't have…. could he?

"Nothing." I roll my eyes. Must be his favourite word or something.

"Hey, don't go yet." His back is still towards me, but I walk along after him. "I have a question."

He says nothing.

"I answered you. Truthfully, too. The least you can do is answer, whether it's true or fake, only you'll know." We both knew I was appealing slash poking at his pride. Let's see how accurate that list I made yesterday turns out to be.

He exhales noisily through his nose, and rotates to face me, his hands shoved in his pockets. "What?"

"Why did you reject that girl so coldly the other day?" The way his eyes widen and his gaze focuses a bit more seems to tell me that he wasn't expecting this question. Much like how Yuuki asked me about my hod dies yesterday, he wasn't expecting such a question. I'm sure we both knew how much I knew about him, and how much I didn't.

"Because I don't like her." I don't think it means that he didn't like her as a person, but more that he didn't return her feelings.

"I'm not stupid, despite what you may thing." His gaze hardens. I ignore it. "You were _really _mean, and I mean _really. _You didn't just break her heart, you shattered it and crushed it to tiny pieces. What was with that? What did she do to you?"

"If I don't crush it, it'll heal and come back."

I shift my stance to the other leg, crossing my arms as I lowered my gaze uncomfortably. "That's unnecessary. She didn't seem like the type to come pestering after you even after you rejected her. Plus, she's going away in a bit. Couldn't you have… I don't know—"

"Would you?" I looked at him, taking a moment to consider his challenge. If a guy confessed to me like that, and said he was going away in a few months, would I be with him just for a few months to make him happy?

"First of all, no guys has ever liked me, nevertheless confessed. And second, I don't know the first thing to making a guy happy."

"And you think I know how to make a girl happy?" I pause. How would Zero be as a boyfriend? My opinion of him may have gotten a bit better in the past 15 minutes, but now that he mentions it…

"I don't know what you think you know about me." He shook his head exasperatedly. "You don't."

"I don't need to _know _you to say that the way you turned her down was unnecessarily harsh," I glowered at him. "Maybe that's the main reason, you're alone, Zero. You don't care about how people feel in the slightest. If you justify turning her down like that, it's the same thing as not respecting her enough to tell her how you feel!"

He steps closer, eyes slit dangerously into a glare. "You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me until I do!" I hiss, "You don't have the _right _to speak to her like that, when all she wanted was-"

"I don't have the right to _be with her. With anyone." _

__Ahh.__

He gives in. "I don't deserve her honest feelings. I don't deserve her affections, or _anyone's_ for that matter, do you get it? Do you _understand, Makino?"_

He might as well have slapped me in the face. That's how much it stung. Not that I wouldn't have deserved such a retaliation. I knew of his circumstances well enough to know how much those words must have meant.

"I…" I begin, because I don't need him to elaborate, not that I expect him to. I can hear his ragged breathing, how hard he held it in, and how much I must have offended him. ".. I… I'm sorry, I was just…"

He's right. I was. I was thinking about the girl, but it hadn't occurred to me that he might have… he might have needed the concern instead. I was blaming him. His answer is so pitiful, so _honest _that I'm humiliated to have pushed him so far. Talk about hypocritical. "I went too far and I was just—"

"You were just too busy caring about how she felt, that's all, because you're _so great_ at caring for others." he intercepted, expression unreadable. I swallowed, eyebrows turnings upwards as guilt seeped into my face. "Maybe you should become a Guardian full-time. You seem a lot better at _caring_ than I do."

The venom in the words cut deep, and I suck my lips in to keep them frowning or even quivering. I've pissed him off, from the way he's just letting his genuine malice come through. Why had I even gotten involved? As if eavesdropping at all wasn't bad enough, I had to stick my nose in. I wasn't caring. I was just being nosy.

"I'm sorry," I say, because that's all I can, anyway. I don't look at his expression as he spins back around, his scent fanning me in the face from how close he was to me. Zero smelled like an fresh wave, cool and masculine. The scent lingers for just a moment longer before he's out of my sight and the scent eventually fades.

I stay by myself for a while, deciding to stay until the signal of second period triggers me to get up. I'm leaning against a tree stump, watching a few students walk around in the courtyard in the distance, but otherwise, I am alone.

Maybe under different circumstances, we could have been friends. I let the thought float in my mind, playing with it, prodding it to see how I feel about it. Could two people, both so damaged in their own way, be friends with each other? For a long time, I was convinced that the answer was no. People like us need someone innocent and happy to balance us out, from all the love stories and movies I've seen. Moody and Broody meets Happy and Cute, helping him see the finer things in life, kind of thing, you know? Opposites attract, that kind of mojo. But innocent and happy _pisses me off_, the same way ignorance does.

I think back to Zero's words. Maybe it's not that it pisses me off. Maybe it's a blatant reminder of what I'm not, and how I can't possibly be because of my past and the way I am. I can never be innocent and happy. I wasn't built for that. I don't deserve to be….

_"I don't deserve her honest feelings. I don't deserve her affections, or anyone's for that matter, do you get it? Do you understand, Makino?"_

I wish I didn't.

**End of Chapter Two.**

-X- Author's End Note -X-

Fast update for you because I am on a mission to get this story GOING! You should definitely put yourself on alert (winkwink), because I can already feel the other chapters digging tunnels out of their cages to get out.

I don't really know what the pacing of this story is going to be. Do I want it to be faster, or slower? I always have a tendency to say slow, but I don't want to bore you guys to death and have you say 'Get on with it, already! We get it!'

So Aya's helping out with Prefect duty because she's the only other one in the school who knows about the vamps, eh? Realistically, for someone so repulsed with them, she genuinely wants as little to do with them as possible, so their first meeting together was far from climactic, but all in good time, my fine readers. I promise you good things if you wait ^^

I tried to keep Zero as in character as possible, and I really try to think things through before I give him any dialogue at all, making sure that it's always justified. How are you liking this new Aya? Do you think it was out of place for her to get nosy, or do you think she was just trying to be helpful, or DO YOU WANT HER TO JUST GET IN BED WITH ZERO ALREADY lolwut

Let me know what you think in a review or so! And did you catch my ultra-lame HP reference? HAHHAHA. See you soon! ^^


	3. Sugar & Spice :san:

And everything nice! ;)

**Recap of the** **Previous Chapter: **Valentine's Day is coming up. Aya gets asked to help with controlling the Day Class girls; she's the only other student who knows of the Night Class' true identities. Reluctantly, she agrees, with the promise of extra credit and guilt from when she finds out Zero _had_ to skip out on detention because of his duty. The next day, Makino gets in a disagreement with her Chemistry teacher and storms out, only to have Zero turn up shortly after, and the two argue. Aya confronts Zero about his heartless rejection, offending him as he leaves with some icy words that resonate with Aya.

-X-

**How the Heart Races**

**|| -X- || CHAPTER THREE || -X- ||  
"Sugar &amp; Spice"**

I arrive to Chemistry late, not that I even care anymore. Ever since my explosion at Ms. Chan, she's been off my case. I'm sure she still marks it in her attendance that I'm late, but she definitely doesn't make some snarky remark about my punctuality anymore. I appreciate the lack of attention, but a part of me is also slightly fearful of the fact that she might simply be marking me as _absent _altogether… But I'd prefer not to think about that.

After my second day as a Temporary Prefect — or as I like to see it, a seasonal employee -, the news had spread like wild fire. Excuse the cliché simile, but don't make me remind you of my literary capabilities and the thanks I owe to Ms. Cilantro, _I mean … _Ms. Coriander.

Valentine's day is officially this weekend and I have much more important things to worry about than my herb of a literature teacher.

Oh, and tall-dark-and handsome lavender eyed boy has been ignoring me for the past 2 days, not that it bothers me. It's not like I'm sorry or anything. Ha. Haha.

Okay, so maybe I am a little guilty, _just a little though. _I was nosy, yes, but I was _also _just sticking up for my fellow female (because sisterhood is _totally_ at the top of my priorities) - and I still think that it was totally unnecessary for him to shatter her heart like that. Empathy has never been one of my most prominent traits, but a teenage girl in the midst of blossoming teen love shouldn't have to deal with some pompous jackass—

"Makino?" As soon as my Economics teacher, Mr. Hawkins says my name, I break out into an itchy cough, attracting even more attention. He was obviously about to call me out on zoning out and not paying attention in class, but my coughing catches him off guard. Who knows, maybe I'm allergic to Mr. Hawkins. "…Are you…"

_Cough cough. _"Yeah, I jus—" _Cough!…. Cough cough cough. _"Sorry—-" _COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH— DEAR LORD. _

"EXCUSE ME," I holler, still coughing as I bolt out of the classroom, his finger out in an attempt to stop me, but he's too confused to react quick enough. Darting into the corridor, I bring up my elbow to hack into, trying my best to muffle the noisy disruption and keep my germs at bay. You're think that I'd be utterly humiliated at this kind of attention, but you need to remember that I'm Aya Makino, and life has had an uncanny way of giving me the middle finger my entire life. This amount of embarrassment is nothing.

My eyes are simply zoning out down the hall when suddenly silver catches my sight. And then lavender. Oh, how that colour combination strikes a new chord within me. He's at the very end of my hall, passing by perpendicularly.

"Hey—" I watch Zero's eye twitch, and he bolts past the hall I'm in, disappearing from my sight.

"HEY, KIRYUU, WAIT!" I cry out, running after him in a mad sprint, "THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU!"

But instead, I just stare at the place where he disappeared from, not acting on the urge. My heart wanted to call out, to apologize sincerely for what I'd said, but my brain shushed it with a firm finger wagging. Give him the space he needs. Some people just weren't meant to be friends.

I stay a moment longer in the hall, kick a rock to the edge of the wall, and head back into the classroom.

**-X-**

"Okie dokie," Yuuki chirps, clapping her hands together energtically. "We've only got two more days left! Hasn't the week passed by so quickly?"

"Mhm. _So _quickly." It's been the slowest week of my life.

Zero keeps his eyes closed, leaning against the gate with his arms crossed.

Yuuki blows out a sigh, and I tug at my lips sympathetically for the girl. She's had to deal with two partners who refuse to talk to each other, acting as somewhat of a middle man, except she's obviously closer to her childhood friend than she is with me.

After the first 4 days, the girls had gotten the point quick. I wasn't here for decoration, and it didn't take long for them to realize that I was 'extra back-up' to make sure the Night Class and Day class kept their distance. Word got out that I was only temporary too, and rumours had begun to spread about how I had been picked. Most of it was surrounding extra-credit or marks, which wasn't far from the truth. People will always talk.

"We'll have to be more on guard for these last two days," Yuuki held up an informative finger, "Valentine's day is on Saturday, and I'm sure things are going to get out of hand the closer we get!"

"Yep. This Saturday."

Zero heaved a sigh.

"I swear, you two," Yuuki rolled her large brown eyes, looking awfully annoyed, though her small frame and naive personality could never portray anger in an intimidating way. "Can we not end the week off on bad terms? And to think that we're all the same age and have basically grown up together!"

I raised a brow in challenge. "Correction. Only you two grew up together."

"We're also the only two that grew up."

_"Fight me, Kiryuu,"_ I hissed.

"You wouldn't last 5 seconds," he snapped back.

"Oookay, you two, heheheheh…" sheepish laughter leaves Yuuki as she embeds herself between the two of us for safety measure. She clears her throat, eyes travelling to the corner of her vision as she focuses, "let's focus on releasing our anger out in healthy ways, yes? Like protecting the students of our beloved Cross Academy?"

"Protecting from what? Because if it's from coldheartedness, one of us is already a repeat perpetrator."

"If it's from stupidity, we've got the the criminal with the most offences right here."

_"I swear, I'm gonna-"_

_"HEYLOOKIT'SALREADY5!" _Yuuki blurted, ushering us both apart. I catch my steps from the push and walk towards the end of the line. I was always in charge of ending the path. Yuuki was front in line, guarding the first portion, and Zero was in the middle. Girls were more scared of me than they were of Zero. I'd seen myself that Zero, for all his douchebaggery, wouldn't lay a hand on a girl. I totally would. Go figure.

By the time the gates finally swing open at 6pm, right as the horizon is still bright orange red from the sun going down, the crowd is barely under control. Yuuki was completely right: the girls were rowdier and more fearless the closer the days got to Valentines, or as I liked to call it: Doomsday. These past few days, there was even a bigger turn-out of boys, but their shouts were easily drowned out by soprano shrieks. I briefly made out my class rep in the crowd, shouting a name. Ruka, was it?

"Idol-sama! Idol-sama, please look over here! Akatsuki-kun! KANAME-SAMA!" they screamed, prancing up and down, shaking their limbs vigorously like those stupid air blow-up dolls are car dealerships. Some girls snapped their compact mirrors open to check their appearance every so often before screaming again. I was half scared that the safety lines wouldn't hold them back, but they stayed behind obediently, knowing how ruthless we would be once they broke the trust.

"Shiki-kun! Takuma! KYAA!" I winced, sighing. Funny how it was always the same group at the front of the line-up. Only those close with the reverent Kaname Kuran were of elite status, I noticed, as the same names would always repeat themselves and stand out from the crowd. The rest of the Night Class might as well have been freebie extras in an all-star movie cast.

From the corner of my eye, I see a weird movement. A girl looks over to see if Zero is looking, and then dashes out. My legs take off.

"Taku—"

"HEY, whoa there!" My hand is in front of her before her beloved's name finishes leaving her lips. She reaches past me, like I'm just another obstacle between her and her man, oh wait, I guess I _am_ just another obstacle— THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE ANALYZING MY TERRIBLE ANALOGIES.

"Takuma! Takuma!" Zero sees me struggling with this girl in my arms, and a hard look crosses his face. I increase in strength, pushing her back as I realize the danger ahead: literally. My section at the end is unguarded. I keep my eyes on my section, and sure enough, the girls were pushing against the line and it was beginning to move.

_Oh no._

"_Stay back_! Don't even _think about— HEY!_" Another girl escapes and I curse under my breath, shoving the girl in my arms back in line. I rush up back to my section at the end of the line, catching up to the front of the Night Class.

"Hey, hey, hey- don't cross over!" The girls retreat back, frowning. My jaw drops as I identify a black uniform in the crowd of white. I squint, and lo-and-behold, there's a pretty little brunette buried in the chest of Blondie.

Her face is of serenity. "Idol-sama… please… just hold me like this forever."

"Yeeeeeah, _no._ Sorry, forever's getting cut short," I dive between the two of them and usher her back in line with her shoulders. No sooner than getting her back into line, I feel a chill creep up my spine.

Saccharine tenor purrs into my right ear. "No need to be so protective, kitten."

I clamp a hand on my ear to stop his poison from infiltrating my system. I spin around with a daggers in my eyes, hoping the disgust I feel is as blatant as it can be on my face. "Don't you ever speak into my ear _again, _Blondie."

His smile falters just the slightest, his blonde hair irritatingly windswept back with not a strand out of place. Every look at their stupidly good-looking facial features churned my stomach and reminded me of how cruel the world was. "Oh? And here I thought you were jealous and wanted me all for yourself."

"Is your ego this big because you're compensating?" I look down at his nether regions briefly for good measure, "Because if that's the case, it's gonna have to get _a lot _bigger to compensate, and I don't think that's possible."

I hear a less-than-subtle "pfft" come from behind Blondie, a girl of the Night Class snickering behind a slender hand to mask her smile. I glance back at Blondie, who's name I think is Hanabusa or Hannibal or something terrible like that. He glares down at me with blue eyes like an ocean, trying to drown me, but I know how to swim. When I don't budge, his jaw tenses and his eyes narrow.

"Aya Makino, right?" he growls, leaning down to my height. I'm a good four inches or so shorter than him, but I try not to let it get to me. "Did your mother never teach you your manners?"

The corner of my lip twitches, a snarl already kicking in from the mere mentioning of my mother. I furrow my brows, alarms going off in my head as a vicious smirk places on his lips. "Oh right. You don't have one. That would explain it."

The front of the pack, Kaname, has stopped and is looking back at our exchange, but I barely notice except the people have stopped moving. Time has stopped moving. A weight lands in my chest with a heavy thud, and I am still.

_How could he…?_

"Hanabusa," commands a firm voice, calm and forceful at the same time. Blondie winces. "Apologize."

Blondie looks taken back, suddenly on the defence. "But she—.."

"Forget it," I spit and look away from him, wishing the venom that I felt would leap from my words and corrode him. "It was my fault for getting involved with someone so petty."

His lips part, and even though I'm not looking at him, I can feel that his expression isn't hard anymore. I don't even care if he's guilty. There's a line that you don't cross, and it just goes to show how much of an ass they are. He frowns even deeper, tearing away from me. It takes another moment, but eventually the crowd keeps moving. It's not like the head of the pack is going to turn around and apologize on behalf of his subordinate. It was enough that he commanded him to apologize.

From my limited exposure to Kaname Kuran, he was a man of only outer integrity. He did what made him look good, but when it came down to it, it was always only about him and his pompous pureblood self. Throw in a good old infatuation with Yuuki Cross and you've got yourself a real salad bowl of eeriness.

I crack my head, sighing as the rest of the Night Class leaves wordlessly and the girls whisper amongst each other for the sitcom they just witnessed. I begin to reel in the rope from the end, and then as the girls are dispersing. Why is it always so hard to drown out the words you don't want to hear?

_"Seriously, who does she even think she is? He was just joking."_

_"Yeah, Makino was the one who provoked him first. He was just hugging Yukari because she came onto him…"_

_"Does she have anger issues or something?"_

_"She deserved it."_

"Hey," My hand-motions of winding the rope slow at the male voice, stern with irritation, "if you don't have anything useful to say, why don't you shut up?"

The thundering arrogance is reduced to shudders. "W-We were just…."

"No amount of make up is gonna cover up your ugly heart." My eyebrows shoot up. That was harsh. "I don't even know why girls like you try."

When the girls go quiet, I peer over my shoulder. _Idiot. You're just making things worse. What are they gonna think now, with you jumping to my defence like that?_

Zero shoves his hands into his pocket, and as he turns, we catch eyes. He breaks his gaze first. I blink twice, feeling slowly warming up in my heart from steeling it.

_What a cold-hearted bastard. He's such an enemy of woman. Total jerk._

My cheeks fight against lifting, but my lips lose their battle.

**-X-**

I help Zero put back the equipment. Half because I'm forced to, with Yuuki running up to report to Kaien of the Night's events as always after duty.

A bundle of orange cones rests underneath each arm as I carry them like I would basketballs. Zero opens the equipment door, his arms also full with equipment like caution tape and a few more cones. He leaves the key jangling in the key slot and pushes it open aggressively with his foot. I give him the benefit of the doubt that his hands are full instead of the fact that he's a naturally aggressive person.

I'm torn between Words linger and flick at my lips, toying in my brain as they morph in different ways. I analyze each form they take on, wondering how he'd respond, but I know inside that I'm not going to say anything. So I don't.

Besides, he's probably brush me off, or not even accept it. He doesn't seem much like the 'let's just walk it off' or 'hug it out' type.

_Bzzzzt. _My hands are occupied, so I can't check my phone vibration in my pocket, much to the dismay of my curiosity. When Zero backs out from the cone area, I drop them off quickly and hurry out of the shed after him, pulling out my phone as he locks the shed.

_Alarm: Shopping for Ingredients._

"OH RIGHT!"

It takes a moment before my brain clues in that Zero's right beside me, and my outburst was nothing short of abrupt. I clear my throat awkward, tugging my lips into what I hope is not a smile of discomfort (but who am I kidding). "Uh… Seeyoutomorrowbye!"

He parts his lips like he's going to say something, but I spin around and dash off like a coward.

_I don't have time to waste! I gotta get to the market before curfew, so it's totally not like I'm running away from him because I'm scared of what he'll say to me, no I'm just being efficient with my time IT'S BECAUSE I GOTTA GET TO THE MARKET._

… Is what I tell myself.

Thanks to the convenient neighbourhood around the academy, the nearest grocer isn't too far unlike the cemetery. The second I'm in my room, I empty my backpack of school material and carry only my wallet inside the hollowed out bag. I throw my scarf on around my neck, hoist on my coat, and finally make sure my cellphone is tucked securely in my pocket. I always had Kaien on speed dial if anything ever happens to me while I'm out. In my 18 years of existence, it's been pretty smooth if you ask me. Knock on wood!

All prepared, I head out to get my ingredients for the week's blogpost.

"Eggs… Sugar… tea. I think that's all…" I double-check the ingredients on my phone that I need to restock and waver back and forth from my shopping basket to my screen. My feet take me to the familiar line-up of the self check-out line, and I hum to myself as I wait.

_How much data do I have left for the month? _I think offhandedly, pulling up the comments my last entry on molten lava cake using said data, _Ooh, 3 new comments!_

ShowMeTheSugaaa commented: _'Made this for my boyfriend yesterday and he loved it! Thanks Yummaay-chan!'_

December_Nights commented: _'i followed ur recipe wit less sugar and it was sooooo DELICIOUS! :3 Can u post a cheesecake one? I luv ur cakes 3!'_

mangotango94 commented: _'Plz plz plzzzzz post something for my bf that doesn't like sweets that much! Im like dying b/c valentines is around the corner and i already made fruit tarts last yr!'_

The comments are the best fuel for my sheepish smiles. Not to fear, mangotango94! I'm coming to your rescue, as well as the rescue of like 10 other girls who posted the same thing. What's with all these guys not liking sweets? I mean, who doesn't like dessert?!

The image a certain silver-haired boy pops in my mind. I irritatedly blinked away the thought bubble just in time for the check-out cashier to ask for my points card.

_Valentine's Day is this Saturday, which means I should get this new post out by tomorrow. Curse my procrastination!_

"That'll be 2600 yen."

The tote bag I bring along carries the bulk of my items, and I carry the cartoon of eggs securely in my other hand. The sky is a pretty orange pink cooler, mingling with the oncoming darkness. The air is cold, like usually, and I burrow my nose and lips under the protection of my scarf. With impeccable timing, I see my bus at the end of the street, and my heart loosens as I know I'll make it back before curfew.

The familiar encompassing of the academy grounds greet me. With earbuds plugged into my ear, one of my favourite tunes accompanies me through my room door, and I drop off my items in the kitchen counter before stripping off my coat and scarf. I flip open my laptop, pulling up my recipe and opening my blog to check the comments before grabbing my camera.

I can't remember exactly when I started, but I've been running a blog for about 3 years under the alias _Yummaay_. It was a tribute to my full name, Ayame, pronounced 'ah-yah-may', and 'yah-may' kinda reminded me of yummy so at the time - 14 YEAR-OLD ME WAS PRETTY PROUD OKAY HAVE MERCY.

I check my inbox nonchalantly, reading a few messages while I whisked eggs into my dry ingredients.

Simply_Minna: _Earl Grey Macarons? That sounds awesome! What filling u planning to use?_

Yummaay: _I'm thinking Honey Buttercream! Gonna write that they can replace it with a few other variations like coffee or smthng._

Simply_Minna: _-thumbs up- :D_

I slowly filled a pastry bag with the batter and pipe away on the parchment paper, making a few cute shapes - hearts, bears, totoro, and of course a hand full of regular circular shells. I work fast, but not fast enough as I glance at the clock and realize I've been working a little slow. I can't help it since I'm tired: going to school the whole day, having duty, going out to shop, and then coming home to bake was both physically and mentally hassling. It's been a long day, and as much as I'd love to be those night owls that don't need to sleep until 2am, my body _can not _function on less than 8 hours of sleep. Even when I get a full night's sleep, I'm constantly napping in class, so getting to bed early is a pretty important ritual for me.

While the macarons are baking, I get started on making the honey buttercream filling. I add less sugar than usual, sneaking quick licks to test the sweetness. I'd gotten a handful of requests to make a unique dessert for valentines that isn't just chocolate, cake, or tarts, with the added challenge of making it suit the taste of someone who doesn't like sweets. Macarons were one of my favourite things to make, and I felt they were easy enough for beginners, but advanced enough to be unique and impress those hard-to-please boyfriends and crushes.

It was almost laughable how much time I spent being thoughtful for all these boyfriends and crushes that I didn't have, really.

But that's what it's like when you're an online personality. You live vicariously through these people you've never said a single word to in person, and they through you. My blog isn't just about food, but it's actually more of a personal journal. My readers know that I love to do sports, and that I was on the track team. They knew about my tardiness to classes, how I hate waking up, and about my insecurities that lead me to always second-guess myself and do poorly on tests; they know about how I feel when students talk behind my back, and they know how I try my best to ignore it, but how I will always, always still secretly doubt myself.

On the internet, I am unafraid to reveal myself for who I am, because I can control how much people know and don't know. They don't know my real name, or where I live. They don't know what I look like, or even if I'm really a girl.

It's a weird relationship, to be honest. To have people reading about your life, who know you, but also don't really. It confuses me every day.

I set the plate of finished earl grey macarons on a nice white platter, pipe a few of bears with chocolate faces and draw small hearts on the circular ones. I even write 'BE' and 'Mine' on two of them and set them on top as the center pieces. Happy with my placements, I snap the pictures on my smart phone and upload them into my laptop, choosing the few to edit and post onto my blog. By the time I'm done, there's a mess to clean up in the kitchen, and a handful of macarons I need to get rid of. I don't have work until Sunday to give them to my coworkers, so I'll drop them off to Kaien tomorrow or the day after. I take a bite out of 'BE' as both a taste test and to get rid of such embarrassing evidence of my girly escapades. The last thing I need is Kaien teasing me about how he's 'already mine' - HA.

My entire room is engulfed in the sweet heat from the oven, the smell of sugars and butters mingling into a delectable scent. I throw a bunch of dishes into the sink and open the balcony to let some of the air circulate through. Just as I slide open the door, I hear the distinct sound of my neighbour beside me sliding theirs shut. I step out and peer over curiously. Wasn't the room beside me on the left empty? I was in the Gage dorm, and we didn't have many inhabitants due to the more expensive cost of the kitchen. Students preferred living in the dorms with the cafeterias that they could just go down to and be served food instead of making it themselves. There were enough empty rooms that most of us lived next to empty rooms to decrease the thinness of the walls. I've been living in this room since September, and I could've sworn I'd never seen so much as a light in the room beside me…

I contemplate the possibility of knocking and saying hi, or making sure it's not a break in, but the lights are on for just a moment longer before they switch off. I doubt it's a break-in that sounds so peaceful, so I let it slide. Besides, it'd be rude to knock on someone's door in the middle of the night for something so silly. Introductions to this new mystery neighbour could wait.

I linger a moment more before popping the rest of 'BE' in my mouth, and retreat back inside to steal 'MINE'.

**End of Chapter Three.**

**-X-**

So while we're still getting to know Aya, her relationship with Zero will be slow but not too slow because I know how impatient you all are, and how slow I am at romance LOL. For now, you can enjoy the little quirks of Aya's personality, getting to know how she spends her life and the experiences. Aya running a blog contributes towards her awkwardly anti-social yet outgoing character, and it'll also come back later as a pretty important piece in her relationship with Zero!

Getting back on my writing game, and have finally realized that things like outlines exists HAHAHAH So I have outlined the next few chapters out for myself to prevent terribly long updates. The original ending of this chapter moved way too fast for my liking, so I changed it up and it will be posted in the near future!

Much Zero will come soon, not to worry! I'm planning to write a few special chapters from his perspective, what do you guys think about that? Or do you like being left in the dark to analyze and try and perceive just as Aya does? They're both a little hard to understand, but Zero might be tenfold! Haha.

**Planning too shoot the next chapter out WITHIN THIS WEEK! *excessive screams of disbelief***

Here's a sneak peak: _"For a single moment, I think I am unharmed, but pain comes a split second later in the form of a sharp burning sensation. My eyes dart to my left upper arm, expecting to find my sleeve and maybe a cut, but the bottom edge of my t-shirt sleeve is soaked in pungent crimson. Blood slithers down, dripping from my elbow and staining my navy athletic shorts. _

_The girl beside me screams."_

Review if you have time! I love talking to you guys. Otherwise, have a wonderful day!


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